Like I mentioned the other day, I purchased Kris Kristofferson's new cd, This Old Road. It is no secret to those who know me that I am a long time, die hard Kristofferson fan. I have just about everything the man has ever put out--from old vinyl albums to cassettes to cds.
I know a lot of people say he can't sing a lick. Every one is entitled to their own opinion, right? this is still America. Me, I've never had a problem with his voice. I like it.
No one with even half a brain can find fault with the man's writing. Kristofferson is a genius.
This newest cd of his is amazing. I cried through the first half of it. His words are so beautiful.
The first track is This Old Road:
Look at that old photograph
Is it really you
Smiling like a baby full of dreams
Smiling ain't so easy now
Some are coming true
Nothing's simple as it seems
But I guess you count your blessings with the problems
That you're dealing with today
Like the changing of the seasons
Ain't you come a long way
Ain't you come a long way down
This old road
Looking at a looking glass
Running out of time
On a face you used to know
Traces of a future lost
In between the lines
One more rainbow for the road
Thinking of the faces in the windows
That you passed along the way
Or the last thing you believed in
Ain't you come a long way
Ain't you come a long way down
This old road
Say you tried to chase the sun down
And you let it slip away
And the holy night is falling
Ain't you come a long way
Ain't you come a long way down
This old road
Look at that old photograph
Is it really you
Kristofferson writes amazingly beautiful poetry. I think you should buy this cd. I know you'll like it.
hugs, Tawny
Thursday, April 27, 2006
An article from the latest issue of the Metro Times (www.metrotimes.com) that I think is pretty much on target.
____________________________________________________________________
Natalee is dead, and I don’t care
Newspapers are dying the nation over, faster in Detroit than in most places. The Detroit papers, which have less than half the combined circulation they did a few years ago, are still losing a thousand subscribers a month.
Serious network news programs are continuing to lose viewers too. That's sad, up to a point. But increasingly, there is less and less reason to care. Or to pay much attention to most of the mainstream news media, other than to a few quality, if flawed, products like The New York Times.
Why? Here's an example of why. Last month, the Michigan Senate rammed through a bill about genetically modified crops. Not to allow them, but to prevent any local government from outlawing them, anywhere in the state.
This week, the House will vote on it, and will almost certainly pass it too. Governor Jennifer Granholm will then probably sign it, because she doesn't want to anger the big farmers, especially not when she is running for re-election.
After that, it will be illegal for anyplace — a county, a township, a town — to decide that no, they don't want any genetically modified crops planted there. What if some organic farmers want to prevent "seed drift" and worry that the Frankenfood seeds will blow over and contaminate their fields?
Tough titty, Mr. Green Jeans. Corporate America has its needs. Now, you may be able to make a case for this bill, and as far as I know, nobody has gotten cancer from genetically modified soybeans. Yet.
But the point is that there has been essentially no discussion and no debate about this in the mainstream media. Instead, day after day on television, we get rehashed garbage about the blond teenager from Alabama who went to Aruba a year ago to drink and party, and disappeared. Who gives a goddamn?
Nobody, at this point, other than her family and millions of twits whose minds have been filled with meaningless trivia about the case by creatures like the bulldog-faced Nancy Grace, arguably the nastiest and most intellectually repulsive creature on TV. Meanwhile, the United States' economy is getting into a deeper and deeper hole, we are mired in a hopeless war, and there is a drumbeat aimed at taking us into a further war of some kind with Iran.
Newspapers haven't done as much with the Natalee Holloway case, presumably because it is harder for them to show endless beach vistas. Day after day, however, there are endless pages full of pap devoted to the breeding of the religious nut twits Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. On one recent day when a number of Americans and dozens of Iraqis were slaughtered, there was far more space in Detroit's papers given to the weighty issue of whether or not Katie would make any noise when the baby came out of her.
This is how mentally retarded children think, and we are being given media designed to make us all drooling idiots. There is less of this in the quality papers, which most Americans never see, though even those papers are full of minor errors and serious, if unintended distortions, like the general impression that Iraq is the center of the universe. The rest of the media give you garbage to add to the garbage you have in your heads already. And even the best of the media miss the boat much of the time. I am writing this from Boston, where I have gone to a conference about Russia, a country that never makes it into the news these days, and probably won't unless Nancy Grace decides there is some evidence that Natalee was taken there.
Recently I had to look at some back issues of the Michigan Daily, the University of Michigan's student newspaper, from 1959 to 1961. What was horrifying was that the quality of the coverage was considerably superior to what either Detroit newspaper is doing today. There were an immense number of stories about foreign relations and our place in the world.
And most of the attention was given to the Soviet Union, which was dominated by Russia. Our competition with the state now known as Russia — the so-called Cold War — utterly dominated the nation's media from 1945 to 1991.
Then, the Soviet Union collapsed. A bunch of little nations, many with names ending in "stan," were spun off, and Russia gave up communism. We smiled, congratulated ourselves heartily for winning the Cold War, and forgot all about the "FSU" or, former Soviet Union, in about five minutes.
Today, Russia remains a vastly important country — one with far more energy reserves than any other nation in the world, even Saudi Arabia. Richard Matzke, a former vice-president of ChevronTexaco, told me that Russia would be the most important country when it came to energy of nearly all types as far into the future as the eye could see.
Russia today also has thousands of nuclear weapons — still — and is wrestling with democracy, trying to become a democratic county against great odds. It is a story that dwarfs that in Iraq, at every level. The main question is whether democracy can work in a nation that never had it before, or whether it will return permanently to an elected dictatorship, which now seems likely.
We aren't doing much to help. Evgeny Umerenkov, a Russian journalist who covers his country, told me that relations between our nations is deteriorating badly, mostly because of our old habit of automatically taking the side of any country that has a disagreement with them.
Naturally, we were disappointed they didn't support our folly in Iraq. President Bush, meanwhile, thinks everything is peachy because he has a good "personal relationship" with Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, based on the fact that both men are Christians, or pretend to be.
Yet we aren't lifting a finger to help, or build closer ties and better relations with Russia, which is far more important to our future and the world's than Iraq. That's the country we should be worrying about building democracy in. That's the country whose infrastructure we should be worrying about; the nuclear meltdown at Chernobyl was happening 20 years ago today, by the way.
They may not have had enough money to properly maintain the rest of their aging nuke plants in the turmoil since then.
Nor, in turn, is Russia likely in turn to do anything to restrain their traditional ally, Iran, whose fanatic leader is talking about 40,000 suicide bombers and nuclear weapons. We can't really do anything about that, by the way; our army is pretty much tied down in our unwinnable war in Iraq.
Not to worry, though; there will be new pictures of TomKitten on the Internet soon, and we need to update our profiles on MySpace. If you are a lot younger than I am, my sympathies.
Worth making time for: Speaking of communism, Detroit once had a colorful, fascinating and significant radical past, and this weekend two utterly excellent movies about it will be showing at the Insight Screening Room, 24300 Southfield Rd., Southfield, on the third floor. They are Professional Revolutionary: The Life of Saul Wellman and, First Amendment on Trial: The Case of the Detroit Six
I have seen them, and you ought to too, especially since the movie in which Katie Holmes plays Natalee Holloway isn't in production yet.
There are numerous showtimes, and it will cost you ten bucks, but it will be well worth it. You can ferret out more information at professionalrevolutionary.org.
Jack Lessenberry opines weekly for Metro Times. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com.
_________________________________________________________________________
hugs, Tawny
____________________________________________________________________
Natalee is dead, and I don’t care
Newspapers are dying the nation over, faster in Detroit than in most places. The Detroit papers, which have less than half the combined circulation they did a few years ago, are still losing a thousand subscribers a month.
Serious network news programs are continuing to lose viewers too. That's sad, up to a point. But increasingly, there is less and less reason to care. Or to pay much attention to most of the mainstream news media, other than to a few quality, if flawed, products like The New York Times.
Why? Here's an example of why. Last month, the Michigan Senate rammed through a bill about genetically modified crops. Not to allow them, but to prevent any local government from outlawing them, anywhere in the state.
This week, the House will vote on it, and will almost certainly pass it too. Governor Jennifer Granholm will then probably sign it, because she doesn't want to anger the big farmers, especially not when she is running for re-election.
After that, it will be illegal for anyplace — a county, a township, a town — to decide that no, they don't want any genetically modified crops planted there. What if some organic farmers want to prevent "seed drift" and worry that the Frankenfood seeds will blow over and contaminate their fields?
Tough titty, Mr. Green Jeans. Corporate America has its needs. Now, you may be able to make a case for this bill, and as far as I know, nobody has gotten cancer from genetically modified soybeans. Yet.
But the point is that there has been essentially no discussion and no debate about this in the mainstream media. Instead, day after day on television, we get rehashed garbage about the blond teenager from Alabama who went to Aruba a year ago to drink and party, and disappeared. Who gives a goddamn?
Nobody, at this point, other than her family and millions of twits whose minds have been filled with meaningless trivia about the case by creatures like the bulldog-faced Nancy Grace, arguably the nastiest and most intellectually repulsive creature on TV. Meanwhile, the United States' economy is getting into a deeper and deeper hole, we are mired in a hopeless war, and there is a drumbeat aimed at taking us into a further war of some kind with Iran.
Newspapers haven't done as much with the Natalee Holloway case, presumably because it is harder for them to show endless beach vistas. Day after day, however, there are endless pages full of pap devoted to the breeding of the religious nut twits Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. On one recent day when a number of Americans and dozens of Iraqis were slaughtered, there was far more space in Detroit's papers given to the weighty issue of whether or not Katie would make any noise when the baby came out of her.
This is how mentally retarded children think, and we are being given media designed to make us all drooling idiots. There is less of this in the quality papers, which most Americans never see, though even those papers are full of minor errors and serious, if unintended distortions, like the general impression that Iraq is the center of the universe. The rest of the media give you garbage to add to the garbage you have in your heads already. And even the best of the media miss the boat much of the time. I am writing this from Boston, where I have gone to a conference about Russia, a country that never makes it into the news these days, and probably won't unless Nancy Grace decides there is some evidence that Natalee was taken there.
Recently I had to look at some back issues of the Michigan Daily, the University of Michigan's student newspaper, from 1959 to 1961. What was horrifying was that the quality of the coverage was considerably superior to what either Detroit newspaper is doing today. There were an immense number of stories about foreign relations and our place in the world.
And most of the attention was given to the Soviet Union, which was dominated by Russia. Our competition with the state now known as Russia — the so-called Cold War — utterly dominated the nation's media from 1945 to 1991.
Then, the Soviet Union collapsed. A bunch of little nations, many with names ending in "stan," were spun off, and Russia gave up communism. We smiled, congratulated ourselves heartily for winning the Cold War, and forgot all about the "FSU" or, former Soviet Union, in about five minutes.
Today, Russia remains a vastly important country — one with far more energy reserves than any other nation in the world, even Saudi Arabia. Richard Matzke, a former vice-president of ChevronTexaco, told me that Russia would be the most important country when it came to energy of nearly all types as far into the future as the eye could see.
Russia today also has thousands of nuclear weapons — still — and is wrestling with democracy, trying to become a democratic county against great odds. It is a story that dwarfs that in Iraq, at every level. The main question is whether democracy can work in a nation that never had it before, or whether it will return permanently to an elected dictatorship, which now seems likely.
We aren't doing much to help. Evgeny Umerenkov, a Russian journalist who covers his country, told me that relations between our nations is deteriorating badly, mostly because of our old habit of automatically taking the side of any country that has a disagreement with them.
Naturally, we were disappointed they didn't support our folly in Iraq. President Bush, meanwhile, thinks everything is peachy because he has a good "personal relationship" with Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, based on the fact that both men are Christians, or pretend to be.
Yet we aren't lifting a finger to help, or build closer ties and better relations with Russia, which is far more important to our future and the world's than Iraq. That's the country we should be worrying about building democracy in. That's the country whose infrastructure we should be worrying about; the nuclear meltdown at Chernobyl was happening 20 years ago today, by the way.
They may not have had enough money to properly maintain the rest of their aging nuke plants in the turmoil since then.
Nor, in turn, is Russia likely in turn to do anything to restrain their traditional ally, Iran, whose fanatic leader is talking about 40,000 suicide bombers and nuclear weapons. We can't really do anything about that, by the way; our army is pretty much tied down in our unwinnable war in Iraq.
Not to worry, though; there will be new pictures of TomKitten on the Internet soon, and we need to update our profiles on MySpace. If you are a lot younger than I am, my sympathies.
Worth making time for: Speaking of communism, Detroit once had a colorful, fascinating and significant radical past, and this weekend two utterly excellent movies about it will be showing at the Insight Screening Room, 24300 Southfield Rd., Southfield, on the third floor. They are Professional Revolutionary: The Life of Saul Wellman and, First Amendment on Trial: The Case of the Detroit Six
I have seen them, and you ought to too, especially since the movie in which Katie Holmes plays Natalee Holloway isn't in production yet.
There are numerous showtimes, and it will cost you ten bucks, but it will be well worth it. You can ferret out more information at professionalrevolutionary.org.
Jack Lessenberry opines weekly for Metro Times. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com.
_________________________________________________________________________
hugs, Tawny
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Today is my birthday! When you called, the machine told you that I was off for the day and out celebrating.
So what did I do all day? Well.......
First of all, I slept in! That's something I never get to do. And it felt wonderful!
Then I went shopping. Okay, to you going shopping may not be a big deal, but to me it is. Whenever I leave the house I always have to keep one eye on my watch so I can get back home and on the phones as soon as possible. Today, time be darned! I shopped leisurely. I lolly gagged. It was too wonderful.
I went out to Great Lakes Crossing in Auburn Hills, MI. (www.greatlakescrossing.com) There's maybe 170 stores, and I wanderred in and out of each one of them.
Okay, I didn't buy much, but that wasn't the point. It was being out and about during the middle of the day.
I purchased the new Kris Kristofferson cd, (This Old Road), an Ani Difranco cd (Carnegie Hall 4.6.02) and a Donald Byrd cd (The Best of Donald Byrd). I also purchased a scone pan from Harry + David's, as well as some of their relishes. And at the Rocky Mountain Candy store, well, I bought candy! They have wonderful apples. Caramel apples, big ones, on a stick, drenched in caramel and chocalate and pecans. And not very expensive either. And of course I bought one of them.
I also managed to fit in a trip to the big park here in town. I sat on one of the benches by the pond and watched the turtles sunning themselves on a big rock, while the geese built a nest, and the ducks swam around. And there was a beautiful hawk circling up above. It was a great day to be outside, sunny and bright.
Next stop was Blockbusters: The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio, Fun With Dick + Jane, An Unfinished Life, and Get Rich or Die Tryin.
So far I've watched Get Rich or Die Tryin. It's supposed to be the slightly biographical story of Fifty Cent (the rapper). You know who else was in it (beside 50 Cent)? Terrence Howard! You know, Terrence Howard---Crash, Hustle + Flow, etc. That man works a lot.
Guess what I had for dinner? Humongous king crab legs! Too wonderful.
It was a good day.
Tawny
So what did I do all day? Well.......
First of all, I slept in! That's something I never get to do. And it felt wonderful!
Then I went shopping. Okay, to you going shopping may not be a big deal, but to me it is. Whenever I leave the house I always have to keep one eye on my watch so I can get back home and on the phones as soon as possible. Today, time be darned! I shopped leisurely. I lolly gagged. It was too wonderful.
I went out to Great Lakes Crossing in Auburn Hills, MI. (www.greatlakescrossing.com) There's maybe 170 stores, and I wanderred in and out of each one of them.
Okay, I didn't buy much, but that wasn't the point. It was being out and about during the middle of the day.
I purchased the new Kris Kristofferson cd, (This Old Road), an Ani Difranco cd (Carnegie Hall 4.6.02) and a Donald Byrd cd (The Best of Donald Byrd). I also purchased a scone pan from Harry + David's, as well as some of their relishes. And at the Rocky Mountain Candy store, well, I bought candy! They have wonderful apples. Caramel apples, big ones, on a stick, drenched in caramel and chocalate and pecans. And not very expensive either. And of course I bought one of them.
I also managed to fit in a trip to the big park here in town. I sat on one of the benches by the pond and watched the turtles sunning themselves on a big rock, while the geese built a nest, and the ducks swam around. And there was a beautiful hawk circling up above. It was a great day to be outside, sunny and bright.
Next stop was Blockbusters: The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio, Fun With Dick + Jane, An Unfinished Life, and Get Rich or Die Tryin.
So far I've watched Get Rich or Die Tryin. It's supposed to be the slightly biographical story of Fifty Cent (the rapper). You know who else was in it (beside 50 Cent)? Terrence Howard! You know, Terrence Howard---Crash, Hustle + Flow, etc. That man works a lot.
Guess what I had for dinner? Humongous king crab legs! Too wonderful.
It was a good day.
Tawny
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Rosa Parks, the civil rights icon and so-called mother of the civil rights movement, is buried at Woodlawn Cemetery in Detroit, MI. Proof, the rapper who was shot to death several weeks ago in Detroit, is buried at Woodlawn Cemetery in Detroit.
One of the Detroit tv stations ran a piece showing the Rosa Parks people all bent out of shape because Proof is in the same cemetery she's in.
According to the Rosa Parks people, because she lived a non-violent life and Proof didn't, it is an insult to her and her memory that they are in the same cemetery.
Now these Rosa Parks people are the very same people who, when this icon was alive, and, bless her heart, in her final years when all you had to do was look at her and you knew Rosa didn't know who she was anymore much less who you were or even where she was, these same people dressed her up and trotted her out any time they thought they could get some mileage out of her and some financial gain.
These same people took such poor care of her and the money generated in her name from her foundation that she was evicted from her home, and had it not been for a local church who stepped in to pay her rent until her death, this icon would have been living on the street or in a homeless shelter.
And now, more than likely because it makes for publicity and the possibility that they could pull in some finances, they are appalled that dead Rosa is buried at the same place dead Proof is.
I just don't understand people any more.
Tawny
tawnyford@webtv.net
One of the Detroit tv stations ran a piece showing the Rosa Parks people all bent out of shape because Proof is in the same cemetery she's in.
According to the Rosa Parks people, because she lived a non-violent life and Proof didn't, it is an insult to her and her memory that they are in the same cemetery.
Now these Rosa Parks people are the very same people who, when this icon was alive, and, bless her heart, in her final years when all you had to do was look at her and you knew Rosa didn't know who she was anymore much less who you were or even where she was, these same people dressed her up and trotted her out any time they thought they could get some mileage out of her and some financial gain.
These same people took such poor care of her and the money generated in her name from her foundation that she was evicted from her home, and had it not been for a local church who stepped in to pay her rent until her death, this icon would have been living on the street or in a homeless shelter.
And now, more than likely because it makes for publicity and the possibility that they could pull in some finances, they are appalled that dead Rosa is buried at the same place dead Proof is.
I just don't understand people any more.
Tawny
tawnyford@webtv.net
Monday, April 24, 2006
Thought you might need a good chuckle today!
Parrots
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" asked the priest.
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Frank and Bob. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase ... in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison ...."Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed.... "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"
-anon-
hugs, Tawny
Parrots
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" asked the priest.
They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Frank and Bob. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase ... in no time."
"Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."
The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison ...."Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"
There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed.... "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"
-anon-
hugs, Tawny
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Feel like reading some crazy stuff?
__________________________________________________
Former Military Air Traffic Controller Claims Comet Collision with Earth on May 25, 2006
To: National Desk
Contact: Dr. Michael Salla of the Exopolitics Institute, 808-323-3400, drsalla@exopoliticsinstitute.org
KEALAKEKUA, Hawaii, April 13 /U.S. Newswire/ -- Eric Julien, a former French military air traffic controller and senior airport manager, has completed a study of the comet 73P Schwassmann- Wachmann and declared that a fragment is highly likely to impact the Earth on or around May 25, 2006.
Comet Schwassman-Wachmann follows a five-year orbit that crosses the solar system's ecliptic plane. It has followed its five year orbit intact for centuries; but, in 1995, mysteriously fragmented. According to Julien, this is the same year that a crop circle appeared showing the inner solar system with the Earth missing from its orbit. He argues the "Missing Earth" crop circle was a message from higher intelligences warning humanity of the consequences of its destructive nuclear policies. He links this crop circle to May 25, 2006, and identifies the comet Schwassmann-Wachman as the subject of higher intelligence communications.
Using NASA simulations of the comet's path, Julien concludes that impact is likely around May 25 precisely when the comet crosses the Earth's ecliptic plane. While the first fragment will cross at approximately 10 million miles, lagging fragments threaten to collide. While astronomers have stated that the comet poses no direct threat, Julien argues that some fragments are too small to observe. Astronomers have predicted possible meteor showers indicating some cometary debris will enter the atmosphere.
Julien argues that the kinetic energy of even a 'car sized' fragment will impact the Earth with devastating effect. He concludes the May 25 event is tied in to the Bush administration's policy of preemptive use of nuclear weapons against Iran, and the effect of nuclear weapons on the realms of higher intelligences. Regarding its importance, Julien declares: "we have to save lives when we have such information to share with the public". He further claims it important "to preserve all data, historical artifacts and precious material in the event of such a collision." Julien predicts that the comet collision will occur in the Atlantic Ocean between the Equator and the Tropic of Cancer, and generates 200 meter waves. Julien concludes that "each person with this information has to take responsibility to warn potential victims."
His article, "May 25, 2006: The Day of Destiny" is available at:
http://www.exopoliticsinstitute.org/EricJulien-En.htm
Sponsored by the Exopolitics Institute:
http://www.exopoliticsinstitute.org
http://www.usnewswire.com/
__________________________________________________________________
hugs, Tawny
__________________________________________________
Former Military Air Traffic Controller Claims Comet Collision with Earth on May 25, 2006
To: National Desk
Contact: Dr. Michael Salla of the Exopolitics Institute, 808-323-3400, drsalla@exopoliticsinstitute.org
KEALAKEKUA, Hawaii, April 13 /U.S. Newswire/ -- Eric Julien, a former French military air traffic controller and senior airport manager, has completed a study of the comet 73P Schwassmann- Wachmann and declared that a fragment is highly likely to impact the Earth on or around May 25, 2006.
Comet Schwassman-Wachmann follows a five-year orbit that crosses the solar system's ecliptic plane. It has followed its five year orbit intact for centuries; but, in 1995, mysteriously fragmented. According to Julien, this is the same year that a crop circle appeared showing the inner solar system with the Earth missing from its orbit. He argues the "Missing Earth" crop circle was a message from higher intelligences warning humanity of the consequences of its destructive nuclear policies. He links this crop circle to May 25, 2006, and identifies the comet Schwassmann-Wachman as the subject of higher intelligence communications.
Using NASA simulations of the comet's path, Julien concludes that impact is likely around May 25 precisely when the comet crosses the Earth's ecliptic plane. While the first fragment will cross at approximately 10 million miles, lagging fragments threaten to collide. While astronomers have stated that the comet poses no direct threat, Julien argues that some fragments are too small to observe. Astronomers have predicted possible meteor showers indicating some cometary debris will enter the atmosphere.
Julien argues that the kinetic energy of even a 'car sized' fragment will impact the Earth with devastating effect. He concludes the May 25 event is tied in to the Bush administration's policy of preemptive use of nuclear weapons against Iran, and the effect of nuclear weapons on the realms of higher intelligences. Regarding its importance, Julien declares: "we have to save lives when we have such information to share with the public". He further claims it important "to preserve all data, historical artifacts and precious material in the event of such a collision." Julien predicts that the comet collision will occur in the Atlantic Ocean between the Equator and the Tropic of Cancer, and generates 200 meter waves. Julien concludes that "each person with this information has to take responsibility to warn potential victims."
His article, "May 25, 2006: The Day of Destiny" is available at:
http://www.exopoliticsinstitute.org/EricJulien-En.htm
Sponsored by the Exopolitics Institute:
http://www.exopoliticsinstitute.org
http://www.usnewswire.com/
__________________________________________________________________
hugs, Tawny
Friday, April 21, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
The latest issue of the Metro Times (www.metrotimes.com), the free weekly alternative newspaper in the metro Detroit area, has two articles about Proof, the Detroit rapper who was shot to death last week inside of a blind pig (illegal after hours joint) on 8 Mile in Detroit. I'd like to share them here with you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor’s Note: After this story went to press, Metro Times learned that 35-year-old Keith Bender Jr. died at St. John Hospital and Medical Center in Detroit. The police believe that Bender was shot by Proof.
One thing I know is that life is short.
So listen up, homeboy. Give this a thought.
The next time someone's teachin', why don't you get taught?
—Run-DMC, "It's Like That"
Dear Detroit Hip-Ho— no ... Dear black Detroi— no ...
Dear God, what are we doing to ourselves? And what were they doing?
"I just got a clean bill of health from the Army. I'd better relax," Keith Bender Jr. should've been thinking.
"I have too much going right in my life. I'm leaving this fight alone," rap star Proof should've said.
Whatever sparked that fight in the early morning hours at C.C.C., it shouldn't have led to guns being fired.
Deshaun "Proof" Holton is dead, and Bender's fighting for his life. Two families have been destroyed.
And we're frozen.
No one should suffer these things. This isn't about typical rap shit. It's about stupidity. The shooting strikes at the heart of hip hop because those of us who knew and loved Proof knew him as a delightful personality prone to asinine, often self-created predicaments, the kind you hoped wouldn't one day cost him dearly.
But he did pay dearly.
This freak scene involved three intelligent individuals who've lived long enough to have perspective on their lives. The wrong choices were made. One started the spat, the other responded, and a third, Bender's cousin Mario Etheridge, ended it in a round of bullets.
It's all sickening, and it hurts like hell.
I considered Proof a friend, though scores of people were closer to him, including some who had beefs. Ours was a professional acquaintance based on mutual respect. As interview subjects go, he was one of the best quotes in town. I had the pleasure of watching him evolve from host of the legendary Hip-Hop Shop's Saturday afternoon open-mic sessions in 1995 to a multiplatinum-selling member of D12, a group that couldn't have existed without him.
I learned that the man was conflicted, his persona and fame balanced precariously against his ideas of life and family. His reputation as an easily provoked hothead was longstanding.
In fact, a relative of mine had an early morning confrontation with Proof last fall at Detroit's Northern Lights Lounge. The next day Proof and I discussed the fracas. He said they were under the influence. Proof soon made amends to my relative.
But I never pegged the rapper for a murderer. It's difficult to imagine him as cold-blooded as the ongoing police investigation suggests. That Proof shot a man is a bitter pill to swallow.
Proof had a police record. It included three arrests for assault, one involving Spudd from 102.7 (WHTD-FM), though neither was convicted of wrongdoing. Proof had been charged over the years for carrying a concealed weapon, being in possession of a stolen vehicle and disorderly conduct
The Detroit Police are moving quickly through an investigation of what went down at C.C.C., the after-hours Eight Mile nightclub where Proof was slain. Compared to cases involving seminal artists Notorious B.I.G., Tupac Shakur and Jam Master Jay, there's less mystery surrounding this one. Maybe it's because there are no tight-lipped music industry hangers-on who refuse to cooperate with the cops. With C.C.C. looking at various reported violations, illegal operating hours and an average of two police runs per year over the last decade, according to news reports, the cops have a lot of backs to push against the wall.
But the details are not the bottom line here. The question is how did Proof, a man with a successful solo career and a new lease on a challenging life, get into this situation?
Proof had personality and was a natural comic — more Rudy Ray Moore than Richard Pryor. His swift wit drew on the moment — Proof was a born heckler, the guy who tossed the story aside and went straight for the punch-line jugular.
Proof stayed in contact with the east side streets he grew up on. In an interview last June, he joked about defending himself: "I don't understand it, man. I'm skinny, and I got big-ass teeth. But they never got knocked out."
He could also freestyle about anything. He'd create on-the-spot rhymes at the expense of emcees he battled, or to the joy of attendant fans shouting rap topics in an attempt to trip him up.
I peered beyond Proof's wit. I figured someone that skilled, alert and scarily spontaneous had to be sharp. He was.
Khalid el-Hakim was Proof's friend and vice president of his Iron Fist record label. He says Proof was an avid reader who studied Hebrew. Sun Tzu's The Art of War was a Proof fave.
Mark "Doughboy" Hicks, Iron Fist's promoter, marketing man and close friend to Proof, recalls the rapper's "ambassador" attitude toward Motor City hip hop.
"He would treat an executive at Interscope [Records] the same as he would the guy he was buying a juice from at the corner store," Hicks says.
Hicks' account of how he heard about Proof's death is chilling. Hicks fought insomnia the Monday night before the shooting. That's why he was up at 5 a.m. Tuesday morning, watching the news broadcast on WDIV.
First report: A rapper had been involved in a shooting. "I thought, 'Aw, man,'" Hicks says. "Here we go."
His phone rang. Someone asked if he'd heard.
Second report: Proof is mentioned by name and identified as the victim. Hicks froze.
Today, not two days after the shooting, I actually hear a smile in his voice, which is a Hicks' M.O. He's an affable dude, lives on the bright side of life. I also hear shock and disbelief.
Proof was not unlike many successful black men from urban centers like Detroit, comfortable both in the streets and in pricey hotel suites.
Black street culture in Detroit is plagued by unemployment and underemployment, crime and drugs. It's rough and unforgiving. After obvious systemic factors — the histories of white flight, racial tension, etc. — are analyzed, the bottom line is still sink or swim. The hood says, "Get it how you live." Translation: Use what you've got to get what you want. Satisfaction comes in immediate, material bites. Returns on investments are shiny things that can be placed in hand ... today. Cars, cash, women. Fuck a stock and bond. It's an environment that breeds a greedy desire for hasty gratification.
And when you have it, go back to the hood and show — or share. Proof was one to share. He'd won the prestigious national 1999 Source magazine battle. He'd toured as Eminem's hype man, the cat next to the star who rocks crowds to accent performances. He'd gone multiplatinum and became a pop star with D12 and began living the good life. He'd gone solo. He'd since given friends jobs, trained them, kept them close and stayed close to home.
But home was a dangerous place. Proof showed us that hanging in the old country with new fame ain't easy. It puts you in clothing that no longer fits. It attracts a heady mix of admiration and resentment.
And in the interview last June, Proof said he indulged in the pop star life a bit too much.
"I'll tell you this," he said, sitting in a hotel room at the Atheneum in Greektown, "no man is prepared for what I experienced with Em or D12." The man who barely drank during the Hip-Hop Shop years was exposed to a world where drugs were available anytime, anywhere.
That's not to say Proof didn't work. He'd become an entrenched D12 team member, a Joe Dumars type to Em's Isaiah Thomas, on multiple levels. Hicks says Proof had an unfaltering work ethic and would often arrange tour set lists, consult on stage schematics and make suggestions to help pace arena-sized performances. By his own admission, he partied hard on the side. He was a rock star.
I was surprised at how openly Proof discussed his D12-Eminem experience; it was the first time I spoke with him on record about such things. He was calculating, but not too much so. He said he'd fucked up a lot and had beefs to settle. He felt highly misunderstood in the Detroit rap community.
His biggest beef, with rapper Royce da 5'9", was the first to be resolved. He described an old-fashioned downtown showdown in which they brandished pistols and got arrested. They never intended to use them, he insisted. It was a misunderstanding that, over time, became a pissing match.
The two showed cooler heads in jail that night. They squashed the shit, Proof said, laughing, adding that they were actually embarrassed, and that it was far from a publicity stunt. Besides, the rappers were grown up, they had children; Royce, one child, and Proof, five.
Proof wanted to be a better parent. He'd grown careless; that mind-set damaged his marriage. (Proof and his wife Sharonda were on the mend when he died.) He didn't speak much about his children, preferring to keep that side of his life private.
Proof was at a career crossroad. While D12 was (and is) still together, it's not clear when the next release will come. But D12 members had begun to take care of themselves. Proof and Bizarre struck solo first, releasing indie albums, and Bizarre had a stint on the most recent season of VH1's Celebrity Fit Club.
Proof spoke about his Iron Fist roster of artists — Supa MC, Purple Gang and Woof Pak — but also pondered the biggest issues in his life. His intent was to get out of his own way. He said he needed to find balance.
"I'm a clown. I wanna have fun. Now, if you switch it," he said, hinting at the conflicts of the past two years, "I get turned on, and I just handle that. I don't wanna be no gangsta, 'cause a gangsta is one who uses violence to communicate. I'm a rapper. I wanna spit lyrics, do witty things. But it gets confused along the lines, 'cause I walk with gangstas."
And other thoughts he shared are now eerie upon review:
"We're not taught to control our destiny," he said. "I've never been this scared in my life. I control the rest of my life right now."
Proof wanted to leave the detrimental parts of his lifestyle behind, especially after rap group Fat Killahz presented him with a "Hip-Hop Mayor of Detroit" award at the Detroit Hip-Hop Awards in early 2005. He took the award seriously, and began mending fences.
He and Royce toured overseas together in December and recorded several songs together. Their healing arguably influenced others to settle beefs. Royce and Trick Trick, Proof's friend, settled a long-lasting cold war, and Proof began extending olive branches to other foes.
He talked to el-Hakim, who's also an educator, about sponsoring some of his middle-school students. His 2005 release Searching for Jerry Garcia, meanwhile, sold 60,000 copies. Proof kept few profits from the album's sales, though his indie deal paid him nearly $7 per copy sold (major record companies like D12's home, Interscope, pay artists an average of less than $1 dollar per unit). Proof began putting his time and money into developing Iron Fist's artists. He became the guy who was the first to report to work and the last to leave.
It makes sense. Searching was a concept album meant to symbolize Proof's desire to reclaim his true(r) artistic self. In fact, Searching depicts several moments in which Proof dies, foreshadowing his death at the hands of gun violence. On "Forgive Me," Proof raps: Quick tempered, short fuse and pissed at God, demons pulling at my soul 'til it's ripped apart.
(In another eerie twist, Proof was murdered in Eminem's 2005 video for "Like Toy Soldiers." In it, a bloodied Proof dies as a result of gunshot wounds — and shows Em frantically showing up at the hospital to see Proof before it's too late. It's a bone-chilling, life-imitates-art scene.)
I got a firsthand glimpse of Proof's reformation last month when, while talking at the Northern Lights, I asked him to serve as a guest lecturer for a class on hip hop and poetry I teach at Oakland University. Aware of his ability to engage groups on multiple levels, I couldn't think of a better person. But I knew he kept late hours, and my class meets in the morning.
"Man, that's the kind of stuff I want to do," he said. "Just give me the date in advance, 'cause I just won't go to sleep that night." Due to a rigid course schedule on my end, it never happened.
Proof was set to tour Nicaragua, and was tapped for an Australian tour supporting rapper The Game. In fact, the Iron Fist team — el-Hakim and Hicks, Proof, former Detroit News staffer Darcy McConnell and company president, rapper First Born — planned to open an office in Sydney, a city Proof loved.
This is probably the most surreal article I've ever written. It's like, the man was on the mend, and then the man is dead. But Proof still liked to hang out. He'd gone to C.C.C. before. He'd show up at Alvin's, Northern Lights, at the C-Note Lounge (another killing took place at a CD release party for rapper John Drama just days after the Proof shooting).
If you know anything about the culture of Detroit after-hours spots, think blind pigs, the illegal prohibition-era drinking houses popular in Detroit, Chicago and other cities. You go there after the 2 a.m. closing time when you're not ready to call it a night.
"He had friends in many places," el-Hakim says. "He didn't care where he went. It could be MTV one night and a grimy Detroit spot the next."
And I will remember him that way, the way he lived. I will remember how he died. I'll brood over this tragedy for a long time to come, because I'm just as pained and angry as I am shocked and sad. And I'm not the only one. My job allows me a therapeutic out, but it doesn't answer all my questions.
And at what point do we lean on wisdom and perspective from our history, and resist impulses of tense moments? And when do we — not hip-hop, but young, black men — start considering the consequences of our actions on our families, children and culture?
As much as I love hip hop, I'd be a fool to deny that we smear shit on ourselves in our music, but call it cologne. And our children are left to grow up in the aftermath of the mental conditioning. Many of Proof's verses contained violent punch lines, rhymes about murder and death. But it's an open secret that 99 percent of rappers who rhyme about such are spewing fiction. Look at Proof, just another dead rapper? Hardly. There was a person behind the persona. His family is changed forever.
"I think we have to stop ignoring that the shit we say affects the general consciousness of people," says local poet Jamaal "Versiz" May, who was a close friend to Proof. "All these idle threats on wax, 'I'm'a kill you, I'm'a tie up yo kids,' that shit ain't cute no more. You gotta start asking what effect does it have on people, and the way rappers manifest their own destinies."
We have a role as men in this society, but our actions suggest that we only accept a portion of that responsibility. Yes, I will remember Proof as the wonderful and conflicted person he was. But I will also ask why he couldn't exercise enough restraint to consider the moment. To consider tomorrow.
Khary Kimani Turner is a freelance writer. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com.
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Final moments and nagging questions
A 'normal night' that exploded in violence
Detroit's hip-hop community is still holding its breath.
As details continue to emerge regarding the shooting outside a seedy nightclub that left 32-year-old rapper Proof dead and a 35-year-old Army vet critically wounded, the questions of how and why hang like a cloud over the city and its hip-hop community in particular.
Just as Detroit had begun shaking off its negative reputation and the hip-hop community was beginning to recover from the loss of famed producer James "Jay Dee" Yancey, the violent death of D12 superstar Proof has left a tremendous hole.
"Proof was the embodiment of Detroit hip hop," says DJ House Shoes, a friend of the rapper since 1993. "He carried us on his shoulder for the last 15 years. Shit's so fucked up [in Detroit] right now, I don't know if the hip-hop scene is really gon' recover from this one. Detroit was Proof's city, and now we're like a motherless child."
Proof, whose real name was Deshaun Holton, was an integral figure in Detroit's hip-hop community, and was a local celebrity aside from being best friends with rap superstar Eminem. On a national level, Proof seemed to play second fiddle to his longtime friend Eminem, but within Detroit hip-hop circles, the roles were seen the other way around. To many, Proof was the real star, the best battle rapper in Detroit's history.
Though some details are still sketchy or contested, police reports claim that Proof was involved in a verbal altercation over a game of pool around 4:30 a.m., inside the C.C.C. nightclub with 35-year-old Army veteran Keith Bender Jr. According to witnesses, Proof pulled out a handgun, pistol-whipped Bender in the face, and then shot him once through the head.
Police spokesperson James Tate says several witnesses claim that Proof then stood over Bender and prepared to shoot him once again, but was instead hit with a hail of bullets, at least twice in the torso, and once in the head.
Both men were privately transported to separate hospitals: Proof to Holy Cross Hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival, and Bender to St. John Hospital where he remains in critical condition.
Both men attended Osborn High School on Detroit's east side, although it's not clear whether they knew each other before their fateful encounter on the morning of Tuesday, April 11. And some people within Proof's camp are wondering why he was at a nightclub with a reputation for trouble at 4:30 a.m. without any of his bodyguards.
Proof was seen at the Coliseum strip club on Eight Mile Road by friend and rapper Mu between midnight and 2 a.m., but his whereabouts are unknown between the time that bar closed and the time he was killed.
Mu says that Proof was in good spirits when the two parted ways outside of the strip club. He didn't recognize everyone that Proof was with, but commented that nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and that Proof was neither drunk nor apparently under the influence of any drugs.
"It was just a normal night," says Mu, who was formerly signed to Proof's Iron Fist record label. "We were laughing and talking about playing a game of basketball later on in the week. There was nothing abnormal about Proof that night, so when people called me a few hours later saying that P got murdered, I couldn't understand how any of that could have happened."
The man who turned himself in as the shooter and faced arraignment Saturday on weapons charges, 28-year-old Mario Etheridge, is a bouncer at the C.C.C. nightclub and claims he was only doing his job in preventing Proof from firing a second round at an unarmed Bender. Etheridge, who is also a cousin to Bender, was charged with carrying a concealed weapon and firing inside an occupied building.
However, the investigation of the shooting continued.
"After shooting Proof once, the situation should have been brought to a halt," says a Police Department source who asks not to be identified. "But Etheridge kept on firing — until Proof was dead. That's the only thing that we're still looking at."
Detroit Police Sgt. Timothy Firchau, of the homicide division, says that although witnesses were initially slow to step forward, authorities are now positive that Proof fired his weapon first, despite protests from Proof's attorney.
What happened was inevitable to some, unbelievable to others, troubling to all.
"I always knew something like this was going to happen with Proof," says Yvette Hinds outside of a tribute benefit for Proof at the Northern Lights Lounge on the night after the shooting. Hinds, who says she has known him for a few years, says, "He always had that short temper, and even though people don't like to admit it, a lot of us knew it was only a matter of time before it eventually caught up to him."
Yet fellow Detroit rapper Champtown, who had his own conflicts with Proof in the past, sees things differently. He emphasizes that he and Proof had patched up their differences.
"I don't have to go around with that on my conscience," Champtown says. "Dr. Dre didn't get that opportunity with Eazy-E, and sometimes men don't resolve their conflicts the right way. But Kid Rock brought us together last November at the State Theatre and it's been nothing but love ever since.
"Even when we were beefing, I never knew him to have a violent streak," Champtown continues. "The Proof I knew was a prankster. He would talk shit about anybody, but he wasn't a killer."
Others searched for meaning beyond the details of what happened.
Shawn "Origix" Featherston, of 89.3 WHFR, says he's known Proof for years as a genuinely humble person. He sees numerous contradictions in the way Proof died, but hopes his death will force rappers to rethink some of the content in their songs.
"I hope cats realize that their lyrics need to change," Featherston says. "For him to die like this, even though it wasn't hip hop-related, should make some people wake up regarding the lyrics they spit. This city doesn't need to lose any more rappers."
Longtime friend and manager Khalid el-Hakim is one of the many people close to Proof who say his actions last Tuesday morning were totally out of character.
But el-Hakim, from his vantage point, thinks the media is still missing a bigger picture.
"This is about how black men deal with conflict, that's the story that needs to be told," El-Hakim says. "This is happening in black communities all across the nation. Now that we have a platform to do it, that's what we should talk about. Gun violence. Otherwise, it really is just a senseless shooting."
Jonathan Cunningham is a freelance writer. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com.
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hugs, Tawny
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Editor’s Note: After this story went to press, Metro Times learned that 35-year-old Keith Bender Jr. died at St. John Hospital and Medical Center in Detroit. The police believe that Bender was shot by Proof.
One thing I know is that life is short.
So listen up, homeboy. Give this a thought.
The next time someone's teachin', why don't you get taught?
—Run-DMC, "It's Like That"
Dear Detroit Hip-Ho— no ... Dear black Detroi— no ...
Dear God, what are we doing to ourselves? And what were they doing?
"I just got a clean bill of health from the Army. I'd better relax," Keith Bender Jr. should've been thinking.
"I have too much going right in my life. I'm leaving this fight alone," rap star Proof should've said.
Whatever sparked that fight in the early morning hours at C.C.C., it shouldn't have led to guns being fired.
Deshaun "Proof" Holton is dead, and Bender's fighting for his life. Two families have been destroyed.
And we're frozen.
No one should suffer these things. This isn't about typical rap shit. It's about stupidity. The shooting strikes at the heart of hip hop because those of us who knew and loved Proof knew him as a delightful personality prone to asinine, often self-created predicaments, the kind you hoped wouldn't one day cost him dearly.
But he did pay dearly.
This freak scene involved three intelligent individuals who've lived long enough to have perspective on their lives. The wrong choices were made. One started the spat, the other responded, and a third, Bender's cousin Mario Etheridge, ended it in a round of bullets.
It's all sickening, and it hurts like hell.
I considered Proof a friend, though scores of people were closer to him, including some who had beefs. Ours was a professional acquaintance based on mutual respect. As interview subjects go, he was one of the best quotes in town. I had the pleasure of watching him evolve from host of the legendary Hip-Hop Shop's Saturday afternoon open-mic sessions in 1995 to a multiplatinum-selling member of D12, a group that couldn't have existed without him.
I learned that the man was conflicted, his persona and fame balanced precariously against his ideas of life and family. His reputation as an easily provoked hothead was longstanding.
In fact, a relative of mine had an early morning confrontation with Proof last fall at Detroit's Northern Lights Lounge. The next day Proof and I discussed the fracas. He said they were under the influence. Proof soon made amends to my relative.
But I never pegged the rapper for a murderer. It's difficult to imagine him as cold-blooded as the ongoing police investigation suggests. That Proof shot a man is a bitter pill to swallow.
Proof had a police record. It included three arrests for assault, one involving Spudd from 102.7 (WHTD-FM), though neither was convicted of wrongdoing. Proof had been charged over the years for carrying a concealed weapon, being in possession of a stolen vehicle and disorderly conduct
The Detroit Police are moving quickly through an investigation of what went down at C.C.C., the after-hours Eight Mile nightclub where Proof was slain. Compared to cases involving seminal artists Notorious B.I.G., Tupac Shakur and Jam Master Jay, there's less mystery surrounding this one. Maybe it's because there are no tight-lipped music industry hangers-on who refuse to cooperate with the cops. With C.C.C. looking at various reported violations, illegal operating hours and an average of two police runs per year over the last decade, according to news reports, the cops have a lot of backs to push against the wall.
But the details are not the bottom line here. The question is how did Proof, a man with a successful solo career and a new lease on a challenging life, get into this situation?
Proof had personality and was a natural comic — more Rudy Ray Moore than Richard Pryor. His swift wit drew on the moment — Proof was a born heckler, the guy who tossed the story aside and went straight for the punch-line jugular.
Proof stayed in contact with the east side streets he grew up on. In an interview last June, he joked about defending himself: "I don't understand it, man. I'm skinny, and I got big-ass teeth. But they never got knocked out."
He could also freestyle about anything. He'd create on-the-spot rhymes at the expense of emcees he battled, or to the joy of attendant fans shouting rap topics in an attempt to trip him up.
I peered beyond Proof's wit. I figured someone that skilled, alert and scarily spontaneous had to be sharp. He was.
Khalid el-Hakim was Proof's friend and vice president of his Iron Fist record label. He says Proof was an avid reader who studied Hebrew. Sun Tzu's The Art of War was a Proof fave.
Mark "Doughboy" Hicks, Iron Fist's promoter, marketing man and close friend to Proof, recalls the rapper's "ambassador" attitude toward Motor City hip hop.
"He would treat an executive at Interscope [Records] the same as he would the guy he was buying a juice from at the corner store," Hicks says.
Hicks' account of how he heard about Proof's death is chilling. Hicks fought insomnia the Monday night before the shooting. That's why he was up at 5 a.m. Tuesday morning, watching the news broadcast on WDIV.
First report: A rapper had been involved in a shooting. "I thought, 'Aw, man,'" Hicks says. "Here we go."
His phone rang. Someone asked if he'd heard.
Second report: Proof is mentioned by name and identified as the victim. Hicks froze.
Today, not two days after the shooting, I actually hear a smile in his voice, which is a Hicks' M.O. He's an affable dude, lives on the bright side of life. I also hear shock and disbelief.
Proof was not unlike many successful black men from urban centers like Detroit, comfortable both in the streets and in pricey hotel suites.
Black street culture in Detroit is plagued by unemployment and underemployment, crime and drugs. It's rough and unforgiving. After obvious systemic factors — the histories of white flight, racial tension, etc. — are analyzed, the bottom line is still sink or swim. The hood says, "Get it how you live." Translation: Use what you've got to get what you want. Satisfaction comes in immediate, material bites. Returns on investments are shiny things that can be placed in hand ... today. Cars, cash, women. Fuck a stock and bond. It's an environment that breeds a greedy desire for hasty gratification.
And when you have it, go back to the hood and show — or share. Proof was one to share. He'd won the prestigious national 1999 Source magazine battle. He'd toured as Eminem's hype man, the cat next to the star who rocks crowds to accent performances. He'd gone multiplatinum and became a pop star with D12 and began living the good life. He'd gone solo. He'd since given friends jobs, trained them, kept them close and stayed close to home.
But home was a dangerous place. Proof showed us that hanging in the old country with new fame ain't easy. It puts you in clothing that no longer fits. It attracts a heady mix of admiration and resentment.
And in the interview last June, Proof said he indulged in the pop star life a bit too much.
"I'll tell you this," he said, sitting in a hotel room at the Atheneum in Greektown, "no man is prepared for what I experienced with Em or D12." The man who barely drank during the Hip-Hop Shop years was exposed to a world where drugs were available anytime, anywhere.
That's not to say Proof didn't work. He'd become an entrenched D12 team member, a Joe Dumars type to Em's Isaiah Thomas, on multiple levels. Hicks says Proof had an unfaltering work ethic and would often arrange tour set lists, consult on stage schematics and make suggestions to help pace arena-sized performances. By his own admission, he partied hard on the side. He was a rock star.
I was surprised at how openly Proof discussed his D12-Eminem experience; it was the first time I spoke with him on record about such things. He was calculating, but not too much so. He said he'd fucked up a lot and had beefs to settle. He felt highly misunderstood in the Detroit rap community.
His biggest beef, with rapper Royce da 5'9", was the first to be resolved. He described an old-fashioned downtown showdown in which they brandished pistols and got arrested. They never intended to use them, he insisted. It was a misunderstanding that, over time, became a pissing match.
The two showed cooler heads in jail that night. They squashed the shit, Proof said, laughing, adding that they were actually embarrassed, and that it was far from a publicity stunt. Besides, the rappers were grown up, they had children; Royce, one child, and Proof, five.
Proof wanted to be a better parent. He'd grown careless; that mind-set damaged his marriage. (Proof and his wife Sharonda were on the mend when he died.) He didn't speak much about his children, preferring to keep that side of his life private.
Proof was at a career crossroad. While D12 was (and is) still together, it's not clear when the next release will come. But D12 members had begun to take care of themselves. Proof and Bizarre struck solo first, releasing indie albums, and Bizarre had a stint on the most recent season of VH1's Celebrity Fit Club.
Proof spoke about his Iron Fist roster of artists — Supa MC, Purple Gang and Woof Pak — but also pondered the biggest issues in his life. His intent was to get out of his own way. He said he needed to find balance.
"I'm a clown. I wanna have fun. Now, if you switch it," he said, hinting at the conflicts of the past two years, "I get turned on, and I just handle that. I don't wanna be no gangsta, 'cause a gangsta is one who uses violence to communicate. I'm a rapper. I wanna spit lyrics, do witty things. But it gets confused along the lines, 'cause I walk with gangstas."
And other thoughts he shared are now eerie upon review:
"We're not taught to control our destiny," he said. "I've never been this scared in my life. I control the rest of my life right now."
Proof wanted to leave the detrimental parts of his lifestyle behind, especially after rap group Fat Killahz presented him with a "Hip-Hop Mayor of Detroit" award at the Detroit Hip-Hop Awards in early 2005. He took the award seriously, and began mending fences.
He and Royce toured overseas together in December and recorded several songs together. Their healing arguably influenced others to settle beefs. Royce and Trick Trick, Proof's friend, settled a long-lasting cold war, and Proof began extending olive branches to other foes.
He talked to el-Hakim, who's also an educator, about sponsoring some of his middle-school students. His 2005 release Searching for Jerry Garcia, meanwhile, sold 60,000 copies. Proof kept few profits from the album's sales, though his indie deal paid him nearly $7 per copy sold (major record companies like D12's home, Interscope, pay artists an average of less than $1 dollar per unit). Proof began putting his time and money into developing Iron Fist's artists. He became the guy who was the first to report to work and the last to leave.
It makes sense. Searching was a concept album meant to symbolize Proof's desire to reclaim his true(r) artistic self. In fact, Searching depicts several moments in which Proof dies, foreshadowing his death at the hands of gun violence. On "Forgive Me," Proof raps: Quick tempered, short fuse and pissed at God, demons pulling at my soul 'til it's ripped apart.
(In another eerie twist, Proof was murdered in Eminem's 2005 video for "Like Toy Soldiers." In it, a bloodied Proof dies as a result of gunshot wounds — and shows Em frantically showing up at the hospital to see Proof before it's too late. It's a bone-chilling, life-imitates-art scene.)
I got a firsthand glimpse of Proof's reformation last month when, while talking at the Northern Lights, I asked him to serve as a guest lecturer for a class on hip hop and poetry I teach at Oakland University. Aware of his ability to engage groups on multiple levels, I couldn't think of a better person. But I knew he kept late hours, and my class meets in the morning.
"Man, that's the kind of stuff I want to do," he said. "Just give me the date in advance, 'cause I just won't go to sleep that night." Due to a rigid course schedule on my end, it never happened.
Proof was set to tour Nicaragua, and was tapped for an Australian tour supporting rapper The Game. In fact, the Iron Fist team — el-Hakim and Hicks, Proof, former Detroit News staffer Darcy McConnell and company president, rapper First Born — planned to open an office in Sydney, a city Proof loved.
This is probably the most surreal article I've ever written. It's like, the man was on the mend, and then the man is dead. But Proof still liked to hang out. He'd gone to C.C.C. before. He'd show up at Alvin's, Northern Lights, at the C-Note Lounge (another killing took place at a CD release party for rapper John Drama just days after the Proof shooting).
If you know anything about the culture of Detroit after-hours spots, think blind pigs, the illegal prohibition-era drinking houses popular in Detroit, Chicago and other cities. You go there after the 2 a.m. closing time when you're not ready to call it a night.
"He had friends in many places," el-Hakim says. "He didn't care where he went. It could be MTV one night and a grimy Detroit spot the next."
And I will remember him that way, the way he lived. I will remember how he died. I'll brood over this tragedy for a long time to come, because I'm just as pained and angry as I am shocked and sad. And I'm not the only one. My job allows me a therapeutic out, but it doesn't answer all my questions.
And at what point do we lean on wisdom and perspective from our history, and resist impulses of tense moments? And when do we — not hip-hop, but young, black men — start considering the consequences of our actions on our families, children and culture?
As much as I love hip hop, I'd be a fool to deny that we smear shit on ourselves in our music, but call it cologne. And our children are left to grow up in the aftermath of the mental conditioning. Many of Proof's verses contained violent punch lines, rhymes about murder and death. But it's an open secret that 99 percent of rappers who rhyme about such are spewing fiction. Look at Proof, just another dead rapper? Hardly. There was a person behind the persona. His family is changed forever.
"I think we have to stop ignoring that the shit we say affects the general consciousness of people," says local poet Jamaal "Versiz" May, who was a close friend to Proof. "All these idle threats on wax, 'I'm'a kill you, I'm'a tie up yo kids,' that shit ain't cute no more. You gotta start asking what effect does it have on people, and the way rappers manifest their own destinies."
We have a role as men in this society, but our actions suggest that we only accept a portion of that responsibility. Yes, I will remember Proof as the wonderful and conflicted person he was. But I will also ask why he couldn't exercise enough restraint to consider the moment. To consider tomorrow.
Khary Kimani Turner is a freelance writer. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com.
(Work at Metro Times) (Contact Us) (Place Classified) (Place Personal) (F.A.Q.'s)
©2006, Metro Times, Inc.
Final moments and nagging questions
A 'normal night' that exploded in violence
Detroit's hip-hop community is still holding its breath.
As details continue to emerge regarding the shooting outside a seedy nightclub that left 32-year-old rapper Proof dead and a 35-year-old Army vet critically wounded, the questions of how and why hang like a cloud over the city and its hip-hop community in particular.
Just as Detroit had begun shaking off its negative reputation and the hip-hop community was beginning to recover from the loss of famed producer James "Jay Dee" Yancey, the violent death of D12 superstar Proof has left a tremendous hole.
"Proof was the embodiment of Detroit hip hop," says DJ House Shoes, a friend of the rapper since 1993. "He carried us on his shoulder for the last 15 years. Shit's so fucked up [in Detroit] right now, I don't know if the hip-hop scene is really gon' recover from this one. Detroit was Proof's city, and now we're like a motherless child."
Proof, whose real name was Deshaun Holton, was an integral figure in Detroit's hip-hop community, and was a local celebrity aside from being best friends with rap superstar Eminem. On a national level, Proof seemed to play second fiddle to his longtime friend Eminem, but within Detroit hip-hop circles, the roles were seen the other way around. To many, Proof was the real star, the best battle rapper in Detroit's history.
Though some details are still sketchy or contested, police reports claim that Proof was involved in a verbal altercation over a game of pool around 4:30 a.m., inside the C.C.C. nightclub with 35-year-old Army veteran Keith Bender Jr. According to witnesses, Proof pulled out a handgun, pistol-whipped Bender in the face, and then shot him once through the head.
Police spokesperson James Tate says several witnesses claim that Proof then stood over Bender and prepared to shoot him once again, but was instead hit with a hail of bullets, at least twice in the torso, and once in the head.
Both men were privately transported to separate hospitals: Proof to Holy Cross Hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival, and Bender to St. John Hospital where he remains in critical condition.
Both men attended Osborn High School on Detroit's east side, although it's not clear whether they knew each other before their fateful encounter on the morning of Tuesday, April 11. And some people within Proof's camp are wondering why he was at a nightclub with a reputation for trouble at 4:30 a.m. without any of his bodyguards.
Proof was seen at the Coliseum strip club on Eight Mile Road by friend and rapper Mu between midnight and 2 a.m., but his whereabouts are unknown between the time that bar closed and the time he was killed.
Mu says that Proof was in good spirits when the two parted ways outside of the strip club. He didn't recognize everyone that Proof was with, but commented that nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and that Proof was neither drunk nor apparently under the influence of any drugs.
"It was just a normal night," says Mu, who was formerly signed to Proof's Iron Fist record label. "We were laughing and talking about playing a game of basketball later on in the week. There was nothing abnormal about Proof that night, so when people called me a few hours later saying that P got murdered, I couldn't understand how any of that could have happened."
The man who turned himself in as the shooter and faced arraignment Saturday on weapons charges, 28-year-old Mario Etheridge, is a bouncer at the C.C.C. nightclub and claims he was only doing his job in preventing Proof from firing a second round at an unarmed Bender. Etheridge, who is also a cousin to Bender, was charged with carrying a concealed weapon and firing inside an occupied building.
However, the investigation of the shooting continued.
"After shooting Proof once, the situation should have been brought to a halt," says a Police Department source who asks not to be identified. "But Etheridge kept on firing — until Proof was dead. That's the only thing that we're still looking at."
Detroit Police Sgt. Timothy Firchau, of the homicide division, says that although witnesses were initially slow to step forward, authorities are now positive that Proof fired his weapon first, despite protests from Proof's attorney.
What happened was inevitable to some, unbelievable to others, troubling to all.
"I always knew something like this was going to happen with Proof," says Yvette Hinds outside of a tribute benefit for Proof at the Northern Lights Lounge on the night after the shooting. Hinds, who says she has known him for a few years, says, "He always had that short temper, and even though people don't like to admit it, a lot of us knew it was only a matter of time before it eventually caught up to him."
Yet fellow Detroit rapper Champtown, who had his own conflicts with Proof in the past, sees things differently. He emphasizes that he and Proof had patched up their differences.
"I don't have to go around with that on my conscience," Champtown says. "Dr. Dre didn't get that opportunity with Eazy-E, and sometimes men don't resolve their conflicts the right way. But Kid Rock brought us together last November at the State Theatre and it's been nothing but love ever since.
"Even when we were beefing, I never knew him to have a violent streak," Champtown continues. "The Proof I knew was a prankster. He would talk shit about anybody, but he wasn't a killer."
Others searched for meaning beyond the details of what happened.
Shawn "Origix" Featherston, of 89.3 WHFR, says he's known Proof for years as a genuinely humble person. He sees numerous contradictions in the way Proof died, but hopes his death will force rappers to rethink some of the content in their songs.
"I hope cats realize that their lyrics need to change," Featherston says. "For him to die like this, even though it wasn't hip hop-related, should make some people wake up regarding the lyrics they spit. This city doesn't need to lose any more rappers."
Longtime friend and manager Khalid el-Hakim is one of the many people close to Proof who say his actions last Tuesday morning were totally out of character.
But el-Hakim, from his vantage point, thinks the media is still missing a bigger picture.
"This is about how black men deal with conflict, that's the story that needs to be told," El-Hakim says. "This is happening in black communities all across the nation. Now that we have a platform to do it, that's what we should talk about. Gun violence. Otherwise, it really is just a senseless shooting."
Jonathan Cunningham is a freelance writer. Send comments to letters@metrotimes.com.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hugs, Tawny
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Today was the day Proof, the Detroit rapper who was shot to death inside of a blind pig (illegal after hours joint) on 8 Mile in Detroit last week, was buried. Hundreds, if not thousands, turned out to pay their final respects.
The media has had a whole lot to say about how Proof died. His friends have had a whole lot to say about how he lived.
This is the statement Eminem, the man who calls Proof his best friend, released on his website (www,eminem.com):
Proof
"You don't know where to begin when you lose somebody who's been such a big part of your life for so long. Proof and I were brothers. He pushed me to become who I am. Without Proof's guidance and encouragement there would have been a Marshall Mathers, but probably not an Eminem and certainly never a Slim Shady. Not a day will go by without his spirit and influence around us all. He will be missed as a friend, father and both the heart and ambassador of Detroit hip-hop.
Right now, there's a lot of people focusing on the way he died. I want to remember the way he lived. Proof was funny, he was smart, he was charming. He inspired everyone around him. He can never, ever be replaced. He was, and always will be, my best friend." - Eminem
[posted 4/13/2006 U.S.A.]
I wrote the other day about how my uncle knew Proof. Uncle David says that Proof was one of the good guys. Remember, I told you that Proof was in the process of donating enough money to us so that we--the Body of Believers--could purchase our own building where we could hold religous services, do community outreach, etc. when he was murdered.
We continue to keep Proof, his friends, family and loved ones in our prayers. And you too.
hugs, Tawny
tawnyford@webtv.net
The media has had a whole lot to say about how Proof died. His friends have had a whole lot to say about how he lived.
This is the statement Eminem, the man who calls Proof his best friend, released on his website (www,eminem.com):
Proof
"You don't know where to begin when you lose somebody who's been such a big part of your life for so long. Proof and I were brothers. He pushed me to become who I am. Without Proof's guidance and encouragement there would have been a Marshall Mathers, but probably not an Eminem and certainly never a Slim Shady. Not a day will go by without his spirit and influence around us all. He will be missed as a friend, father and both the heart and ambassador of Detroit hip-hop.
Right now, there's a lot of people focusing on the way he died. I want to remember the way he lived. Proof was funny, he was smart, he was charming. He inspired everyone around him. He can never, ever be replaced. He was, and always will be, my best friend." - Eminem
[posted 4/13/2006 U.S.A.]
I wrote the other day about how my uncle knew Proof. Uncle David says that Proof was one of the good guys. Remember, I told you that Proof was in the process of donating enough money to us so that we--the Body of Believers--could purchase our own building where we could hold religous services, do community outreach, etc. when he was murdered.
We continue to keep Proof, his friends, family and loved ones in our prayers. And you too.
hugs, Tawny
tawnyford@webtv.net
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Do you read the BBC? If not, here's an article from April 11, 2006 that
is very interesting.
--------
Drug firms 'inventing diseases'
Pharmaceutical firms are inventing diseases to sell more drugs, researchers have warned.
Disease-mongering promotes non-existent diseases and exaggerates mild problems to boost profits, the Public Library of Science Medicine reported.
Researchers at Newcastle University in Australia said firms were putting healthy people at risk by medicalising conditions such as menopause.
But the pharmaceutical industry denied it invented diseases.
DISEASE-MONGERING
Restless legs - Prevalence of rare condition exaggerated
Irritable bowel syndrome - Promoted as a serious illness needing therapy, when usually a mild problem
Menopause - Too often medicalised as a disorder when really a normal part of life
Report authors David Henry and Ray Moynihan criticised attempts to convince the public in the US that 43% of women live with sexual dysfunction.
They also said that risk factors like high cholesterol and osteoporosis were being presented as diseases - and rare conditions such as restless leg condition and mild problems of irritable bowel syndrome were exaggerated.
The report said: "Disease-mongering is the selling of sickness that widens the boundaries of illness and grows the markets for those who sell and deliver treatments.
Campaigns
"It is exemplified mostly explicitly by many pharmaceutical industry-funded disease awareness campaigns - more often designed to sell drugs than to illuminate or to inform or educate about the prevention of illness or the maintenance of health."
The researchers called on doctors, patients and support groups to be aware of the marketing tactics of the pharmaceutical industry and for more research into the way in which conditions are presented.
They added: "The motives of health professionals and health advocacy groups may well be the welfare of patients, rather than any direct self-interested financial benefit, but we believe that too often marketers are able to crudely manipulate those motivations.
"Disentangling the different motivations of the different actors in disease-mongering will be a key step towards a better understanding of this phenomenon."
But Richard Ley, of the Association of the British Pharmaceutical Industry, said the research was centred on the US where the drugs industry had much more freedom to promote their products to the public.
"The way you can advertise is much more restricted in the UK so it is wrong to extrapolate it.
"Also, it is not right to say the industry invents diseases, we don't. It is up to doctors to decide what treatment to give people, we can't tell them."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/4898488.stm
Published: 2006/04/11 09:32:57 GMT
© BBC MMVI
-----
hugs, Tawny
is very interesting.
--------
Drug firms 'inventing diseases'
Pharmaceutical firms are inventing diseases to sell more drugs, researchers have warned.
Disease-mongering promotes non-existent diseases and exaggerates mild problems to boost profits, the Public Library of Science Medicine reported.
Researchers at Newcastle University in Australia said firms were putting healthy people at risk by medicalising conditions such as menopause.
But the pharmaceutical industry denied it invented diseases.
DISEASE-MONGERING
Restless legs - Prevalence of rare condition exaggerated
Irritable bowel syndrome - Promoted as a serious illness needing therapy, when usually a mild problem
Menopause - Too often medicalised as a disorder when really a normal part of life
Report authors David Henry and Ray Moynihan criticised attempts to convince the public in the US that 43% of women live with sexual dysfunction.
They also said that risk factors like high cholesterol and osteoporosis were being presented as diseases - and rare conditions such as restless leg condition and mild problems of irritable bowel syndrome were exaggerated.
The report said: "Disease-mongering is the selling of sickness that widens the boundaries of illness and grows the markets for those who sell and deliver treatments.
Campaigns
"It is exemplified mostly explicitly by many pharmaceutical industry-funded disease awareness campaigns - more often designed to sell drugs than to illuminate or to inform or educate about the prevention of illness or the maintenance of health."
The researchers called on doctors, patients and support groups to be aware of the marketing tactics of the pharmaceutical industry and for more research into the way in which conditions are presented.
They added: "The motives of health professionals and health advocacy groups may well be the welfare of patients, rather than any direct self-interested financial benefit, but we believe that too often marketers are able to crudely manipulate those motivations.
"Disentangling the different motivations of the different actors in disease-mongering will be a key step towards a better understanding of this phenomenon."
But Richard Ley, of the Association of the British Pharmaceutical Industry, said the research was centred on the US where the drugs industry had much more freedom to promote their products to the public.
"The way you can advertise is much more restricted in the UK so it is wrong to extrapolate it.
"Also, it is not right to say the industry invents diseases, we don't. It is up to doctors to decide what treatment to give people, we can't tell them."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/4898488.stm
Published: 2006/04/11 09:32:57 GMT
© BBC MMVI
-----
hugs, Tawny
Monday, April 17, 2006
This is a must read from the folks at Human Kindness Foundatio (www.humankindness.org). It is the lead article from their most recent newsletter, Spring 2006.
Dear Family,
As I sit in a little motel in Murfreesboro TN to write this, President Bush has just put forward his new budget in which he has cut funds for Medicare and other social programs, and has increased spending to an unprecedented degree for the Pentagon and Homeland Security. In defending these cuts and hikes, the President and his spokesmen have all said that the new budget reflects our national priorities.
I’m afraid they’re right. They are essentially saying that FEAR AND INSECURITY are our national priorities, not health or poverty, not homelessness or education or communities or caring for our elderly. And they have a good case. The only reason this group of mean-spirited wealthy businessmen are running the world in the first place is that they played to our fears and won, and they keep doing it. Even his most ardent supporters must know in their hearts that President Bush is not very bright and is constantly dishonest with the American people. But they are convinced that a) their children are in mortal danger; and b) he is mean and heartless enough to do whatever it takes across the world for America to be safe. Like the old saying goes, “we have met the enemy, and he is us.” The United States is becoming a menacing figure across much of the world, because our national lifestyle uses 30-40% of the world’s natural resources, and we need to colonize other nations in order to keep consuming so much more than our fair share. NO politician, whether democrat, republican, libertarian or any other, is urging us to use less, to make a dramatic shift in how much we drive, how far away our food comes from, how much electricity we use.
This newsletter is called “A Little Good News,” so where is the good news in all of this? Where it always is - in the hearts, minds and lives of each of us who dare to step aside from the fear-based mainstream culture and live more deeply. When our nation is cutting its own throat and becoming a beastly presence around the world, could there be a better or more important time for us to become real spiritual seekers and sages? Could there be a more appropriate time for us to personally become beacons of compassion, humility and wisdom? If our economy collapses under the weight of those military budgets, if China goes to war with us over oil, if the utility companies begin to schedule regular brownouts or blackouts as many countries already do to save petroleum, tens of millions of Americans are going to be seriously unstable. We don’t do too well without our morning TV and coffee, without our air conditioners and hair dryers, without our personal freedom to hop in our cars and drive anywhere we like anytime we want.
Many mature and intelligent people are predicting very hard times ahead for Americans in the near future. Our entire national lifestyle is based upon an unsustainable addiction to petroleum. It would be great if you and I become more serious about our spiritual journey right now so that we can be calm and strong in the face of such worldly troubles. People are going to need some guidance and reassurance, some strength that only comes from knowing that this world of fleeting consumer happiness and political insecurity is trivial compared to spiritual joy and peace. There is never any real “security” in that material world, and there is never any real threat to our spiritual nature. It’s time for us to be serious about Jesus’ advice to “be IN this world, but not OF it.” The world we are in is falling apart. The world we are of is still beautiful, noble and holy. Always will be.
What do I mean by “become more serious about our spiritual journey right now?” I mean right now, this minute. I mean taking a look at the bottom line - less selfishness and less vanity - and deciding this very hour to commit ourselves to living for the sake of others from this day on. We know someday we’re going to do it, we know someday we’re going to get on board with the advice handed down by every sage in the history of the world. We just keep assuming today isn’t the day we radically change. It’s not convenient, it’s not practical. Dear friends, our civilization is descending into open madness, our children have statistically become the most violent people on Earth, tens of millions of us are taking anti-depressants just to get through the day, and so it’s hero time. It’s time to take that enormous leap of faith and live for a higher purpose than selfish pleasure, selfish security and selfish gain. Someday, it’s got to be NOW. That leap cannot always be a little ways off into the future. How about making this article the last thing you ever read as a self-protective, self-centered materialistic human being? I mean it! Don’t just read through this. I’m talking about you!!
The path is simple, though the details can be very complex. The path is living for the benefit of others, living for the benefit of all creation. Keep that idea simple. We don’t need ridiculous arguments about Salvation or Heaven or who’s going to get there. We merely need to wake up every morning and spend a few minutes in prayerful reminder that we intend to live for the benefit of others today. Then each day becomes an interesting adventure of how to do that! But at least we will have a single and clear focus for our lives. That alone will begin to dissolve our fears and bring us peace and strength.
In order to make our best guesses all through the day of how to be unselfish, we need to take decent care of body, mind, and spirit - specifically, a healthy body, a quiet mind, and an open heart are the goals of daily spiritual practice. A body we abuse through bad diet, lack of exercise, etc.; a mind we cloud with noise all day long, violent images on TV, pornography, etc.; and a heart we keep closed due to fears and desires, do not enable us to tune in very well to the Divine guidance that whispers inside of us all through the day. Every tough or confusing situation carries its own solution within it, but we are usually too unfocused to perceive it. When we start cleaning up our act, many of our problems reveal their own solutions that then seem so obvious we are amazed we couldn’t see them before
Are you really going to find joy through comfort or false security? You know you’re not. But does that real joy exist? Is it just a great big rumor? A few words of hope to help unhappy people cope with their unhappiness? Apparently a lot of people think that is the case. Even a lot of clergy have become little more than lay psychologists and humanists, suggesting that miracles and mystical events like the parting of the Red Sea, the virgin birth and resurrection, the raising of the dead or healing of the blind, are merely metaphors and do not need to be taken literally in order for us to have faith in the goodness of mankind. Yikes! Where do we mystics begin to straighten out such denial and ignorance?
Well, first thing: Millions of people throughout history, even some of us reading this newsletter, have experienced mystical states of consciousness, what sages would call some degree or other of “Transcendence.” We often get mocked or exiled or even executed for bringing it to anyone’s attention, but that doesn’t negate its reality. In this state - again, to any degree of it, from a tiny taste to full-blown God Consciousness - miracles abound, and are completely natural. The virgin birth or resurrection are child’s play on that level of reality. Reports of these experiences, from every religion and civilization, describe several qualities that are common to all those different cultures and centuries: A union with God, with all of existence, the cessation of the individual egoic identity, a Divine Awareness of the individual as a vehicle of God’s purpose on Earth, and an overwhelming, absolutely unconditional Love that really and truly has the power to move mountains or create new worlds.
These descriptions are virtually the same and describe the singular core experience that led to every religion. Religion is about a higher reality, not just an historical story and some dreamy poetry about rewards and punishment, heavens and hells. It’s about something that is real whether we choose to believe it or not. And the goal of religion is to touch that real experience ourselves. Let’s try to keep that in mind, okay? The bottom line of religion is to touch God, not to just be a nice person.
I spend a lot of time in motels these days, and sometimes I flip through the channels to find religious programs to keep me in touch with what is passing for Christianity among the general population. It would be scary if it weren’t so unbelievably silly. Fear-mongering and money-raising, exhortations to be “loud and proud” about one’s faith. Jesus himself told us “When you pray, don’t pray loudly out in the streets for people to hear you, but pray in the closet.” Yet we have turned modern American Christianity into a loud, barking sideshow doing exactly what the Savior Himself told us not to do. Jesus also warned us not to believe everyone who comes in His name, but rather to look for those who do His Father’s work - feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the prisoner, shelter the homeless. Yet any well-dressed snake-oil salesman can buy some TV time and launch a loud, proud, money-grubbing crusade in Jesus’ name and there always seem to be enough people to send them money for their limousines and mansions. All in the name of the simple carpenter from Nazareth who said it will be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for such a man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Yikes again. I guess it really is true that the bigger a lie, the more people will believe it.
Let’s get back to the Good News. The saints and sages encourage us to spend some time every day alone, quiet, sequestered from everything that is in the world of time and place, the world of material reality. Why? Why did Moses go up on top of Mt. Sinai, alone and humble? Why did Jesus go out in the desert, alone and humble? Why did Mohammed go into the cave, alone and humble? Why did the Buddha sit under the Bodhi tree, alone and humble? For the same reason Jesus tells you and me to go pray in a closet: To humbly open ourselves to a higher reality, the Great Mystery, what most of us call God, what Buddhists call Bodhi Mind, what Native Americans call Great Spirit. All the same, all One. We go off alone and submit ourselves, present ourselves, to its presence. Not loud and proud. Not as scholars or “members.” But as children before the Lord, not knowing anything except that God is Good. You’ve heard the expression “Waiting on the Lord.” That’s what we do in the closet for those few minutes every day. That’s what we do for longer periods of time in occasional retreats. We learn to sit down, shut up, offer ourselves to that Larger Reality, and humbly wait.
No Cathedral can guarantee us the direct experience of the Holy One, and no prison cell can keep us from it. Jesus told His apostles, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.” Just sweet words? Just a metaphor? Or are you willing to consider that in some incomprehensible way, the entire infinite, unbounded Kingdom of Heaven is actually, literally within you and me?!! Go pray in the closet. Such simple words, such simple instruction. Go pray in the closet. He’s handing us the keys to the Kingdom and we keep building more huge churches and holding what could only be called ceaseless membership rallies under the name of Christianity. It’s become just about membership, hasn’t it? “I’m saved; are you saved?” How about the actual teachings of the religion, of the Savior Himself? You know, putting others first, turning the other cheek, giving away our wealth, trusting that God will feed and clothe us, rejoicing over the reformed criminal, accepting everyone at our Father’s table - you know, all that stuff Jesus actually instructed us to do? How has the popular religion in His name become merely a loud, proud, elitist membership fraternity? That’s a real head-scratcher!
But you and I do not need to figure out how tens of millions of people have unintentionally fallen into a mockery of Christianity or any other faith. You and I simply need to make our own decision about where we will stand. Jesus told Pontius Pilate, “You have no power over me.” Since Pontius Pilate then ordered Him to be executed and He was indeed killed, we need to reflect on what Jesus meant. In this world of people and events, Pontius Pilate certainly did have power over Jesus. He had Him crucified. Yet three days later, Jesus came back to show us that even imprisonment, torture and execution are trivial next to the Love He represents. He came to show us there is this world that we are in, where the Pontius Pilates will always seem to have power over us, but then there is this world we are of, which is a Force that makes death itself trivial and reversible.
Be in this world but not of it. Hmmm. Be in prison but not of it. Be in parenthood but not of it. Be in your job, your marriage, your hopes and dreams, your achievements, your plans, your recovery, but not of it. As they say in the South, you and I are “not from around here…” Being both in and of this world we see around us would be really depressing and make us feel quite disempowered. That world is headed toward a train wreck politically, socially, ecologically, in just about every way. Countless millions of people go through the day not believing in anything truly beautiful, noble, or holy. How unbelievably sad. Because this very same world is astonishingly beautiful, noble and holy when we view it from the spiritual realm that we are of.
My dear elder, an Anglican monk named Father Murray Rogers, says “Bo, faith is not the most important thing; it’s the only thing!” Father Murray also said “Every crisis is a crisis of Faith, no matter what else it appears to be.” Father Murray once defined Faith as “Believing in an Ultimate Goodness behind everything, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.”
You and I can directly touch that Ultimate Goodness in the closet. I have many times. The Supreme Force is not neutral, it is Good. It is beyond our understanding, for sure, but not beyond our ability to experience it, or put more accurately, to merge into It when our separateness falls away. Don’t settle for too little. Many of the “New Thought” or “New Age” churches seem to be trying to make this worldly level of reality the perfect one. They have all the right words about everything being God and so forth, but they’re trying to make personal, small, egoic happiness the Big Joy. That will never happen. This world we are in is tiny and limited and extremely conditional. The world we are of is a unified consciousness that doesn’t need protection from trivialities like poverty, illness, or adversity. By knowing where we are OF, we can have less fear and more power to help in the world we are IN.
This is a time when it would be helpful for us to simplify our spiritual perspectives. “May I be less selfish today than yesterday. May I be less vain today than yesterday. I dedicate myself today to live for others.” All the practices and paths are merely to serve these simple ends. Like one of the great Tibetan teachers told his student, “What is needed now is not more teachings, but more practice, my son!” Let’s really do this TODAY. Commit yourself to living for others right now. You know it’s the right thing to do, so don’t wait any longer. Believe me, your life will be a fascinating adventure just figuring out what it really means to put others first. And Life truly will bring you all you need if you really make this commitment
With Love,
Bo
___________________________________________________________________________
hugs, Tawny
tawnyford@webtv.net
Dear Family,
As I sit in a little motel in Murfreesboro TN to write this, President Bush has just put forward his new budget in which he has cut funds for Medicare and other social programs, and has increased spending to an unprecedented degree for the Pentagon and Homeland Security. In defending these cuts and hikes, the President and his spokesmen have all said that the new budget reflects our national priorities.
I’m afraid they’re right. They are essentially saying that FEAR AND INSECURITY are our national priorities, not health or poverty, not homelessness or education or communities or caring for our elderly. And they have a good case. The only reason this group of mean-spirited wealthy businessmen are running the world in the first place is that they played to our fears and won, and they keep doing it. Even his most ardent supporters must know in their hearts that President Bush is not very bright and is constantly dishonest with the American people. But they are convinced that a) their children are in mortal danger; and b) he is mean and heartless enough to do whatever it takes across the world for America to be safe. Like the old saying goes, “we have met the enemy, and he is us.” The United States is becoming a menacing figure across much of the world, because our national lifestyle uses 30-40% of the world’s natural resources, and we need to colonize other nations in order to keep consuming so much more than our fair share. NO politician, whether democrat, republican, libertarian or any other, is urging us to use less, to make a dramatic shift in how much we drive, how far away our food comes from, how much electricity we use.
This newsletter is called “A Little Good News,” so where is the good news in all of this? Where it always is - in the hearts, minds and lives of each of us who dare to step aside from the fear-based mainstream culture and live more deeply. When our nation is cutting its own throat and becoming a beastly presence around the world, could there be a better or more important time for us to become real spiritual seekers and sages? Could there be a more appropriate time for us to personally become beacons of compassion, humility and wisdom? If our economy collapses under the weight of those military budgets, if China goes to war with us over oil, if the utility companies begin to schedule regular brownouts or blackouts as many countries already do to save petroleum, tens of millions of Americans are going to be seriously unstable. We don’t do too well without our morning TV and coffee, without our air conditioners and hair dryers, without our personal freedom to hop in our cars and drive anywhere we like anytime we want.
Many mature and intelligent people are predicting very hard times ahead for Americans in the near future. Our entire national lifestyle is based upon an unsustainable addiction to petroleum. It would be great if you and I become more serious about our spiritual journey right now so that we can be calm and strong in the face of such worldly troubles. People are going to need some guidance and reassurance, some strength that only comes from knowing that this world of fleeting consumer happiness and political insecurity is trivial compared to spiritual joy and peace. There is never any real “security” in that material world, and there is never any real threat to our spiritual nature. It’s time for us to be serious about Jesus’ advice to “be IN this world, but not OF it.” The world we are in is falling apart. The world we are of is still beautiful, noble and holy. Always will be.
What do I mean by “become more serious about our spiritual journey right now?” I mean right now, this minute. I mean taking a look at the bottom line - less selfishness and less vanity - and deciding this very hour to commit ourselves to living for the sake of others from this day on. We know someday we’re going to do it, we know someday we’re going to get on board with the advice handed down by every sage in the history of the world. We just keep assuming today isn’t the day we radically change. It’s not convenient, it’s not practical. Dear friends, our civilization is descending into open madness, our children have statistically become the most violent people on Earth, tens of millions of us are taking anti-depressants just to get through the day, and so it’s hero time. It’s time to take that enormous leap of faith and live for a higher purpose than selfish pleasure, selfish security and selfish gain. Someday, it’s got to be NOW. That leap cannot always be a little ways off into the future. How about making this article the last thing you ever read as a self-protective, self-centered materialistic human being? I mean it! Don’t just read through this. I’m talking about you!!
The path is simple, though the details can be very complex. The path is living for the benefit of others, living for the benefit of all creation. Keep that idea simple. We don’t need ridiculous arguments about Salvation or Heaven or who’s going to get there. We merely need to wake up every morning and spend a few minutes in prayerful reminder that we intend to live for the benefit of others today. Then each day becomes an interesting adventure of how to do that! But at least we will have a single and clear focus for our lives. That alone will begin to dissolve our fears and bring us peace and strength.
In order to make our best guesses all through the day of how to be unselfish, we need to take decent care of body, mind, and spirit - specifically, a healthy body, a quiet mind, and an open heart are the goals of daily spiritual practice. A body we abuse through bad diet, lack of exercise, etc.; a mind we cloud with noise all day long, violent images on TV, pornography, etc.; and a heart we keep closed due to fears and desires, do not enable us to tune in very well to the Divine guidance that whispers inside of us all through the day. Every tough or confusing situation carries its own solution within it, but we are usually too unfocused to perceive it. When we start cleaning up our act, many of our problems reveal their own solutions that then seem so obvious we are amazed we couldn’t see them before
Are you really going to find joy through comfort or false security? You know you’re not. But does that real joy exist? Is it just a great big rumor? A few words of hope to help unhappy people cope with their unhappiness? Apparently a lot of people think that is the case. Even a lot of clergy have become little more than lay psychologists and humanists, suggesting that miracles and mystical events like the parting of the Red Sea, the virgin birth and resurrection, the raising of the dead or healing of the blind, are merely metaphors and do not need to be taken literally in order for us to have faith in the goodness of mankind. Yikes! Where do we mystics begin to straighten out such denial and ignorance?
Well, first thing: Millions of people throughout history, even some of us reading this newsletter, have experienced mystical states of consciousness, what sages would call some degree or other of “Transcendence.” We often get mocked or exiled or even executed for bringing it to anyone’s attention, but that doesn’t negate its reality. In this state - again, to any degree of it, from a tiny taste to full-blown God Consciousness - miracles abound, and are completely natural. The virgin birth or resurrection are child’s play on that level of reality. Reports of these experiences, from every religion and civilization, describe several qualities that are common to all those different cultures and centuries: A union with God, with all of existence, the cessation of the individual egoic identity, a Divine Awareness of the individual as a vehicle of God’s purpose on Earth, and an overwhelming, absolutely unconditional Love that really and truly has the power to move mountains or create new worlds.
These descriptions are virtually the same and describe the singular core experience that led to every religion. Religion is about a higher reality, not just an historical story and some dreamy poetry about rewards and punishment, heavens and hells. It’s about something that is real whether we choose to believe it or not. And the goal of religion is to touch that real experience ourselves. Let’s try to keep that in mind, okay? The bottom line of religion is to touch God, not to just be a nice person.
I spend a lot of time in motels these days, and sometimes I flip through the channels to find religious programs to keep me in touch with what is passing for Christianity among the general population. It would be scary if it weren’t so unbelievably silly. Fear-mongering and money-raising, exhortations to be “loud and proud” about one’s faith. Jesus himself told us “When you pray, don’t pray loudly out in the streets for people to hear you, but pray in the closet.” Yet we have turned modern American Christianity into a loud, barking sideshow doing exactly what the Savior Himself told us not to do. Jesus also warned us not to believe everyone who comes in His name, but rather to look for those who do His Father’s work - feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the prisoner, shelter the homeless. Yet any well-dressed snake-oil salesman can buy some TV time and launch a loud, proud, money-grubbing crusade in Jesus’ name and there always seem to be enough people to send them money for their limousines and mansions. All in the name of the simple carpenter from Nazareth who said it will be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for such a man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Yikes again. I guess it really is true that the bigger a lie, the more people will believe it.
Let’s get back to the Good News. The saints and sages encourage us to spend some time every day alone, quiet, sequestered from everything that is in the world of time and place, the world of material reality. Why? Why did Moses go up on top of Mt. Sinai, alone and humble? Why did Jesus go out in the desert, alone and humble? Why did Mohammed go into the cave, alone and humble? Why did the Buddha sit under the Bodhi tree, alone and humble? For the same reason Jesus tells you and me to go pray in a closet: To humbly open ourselves to a higher reality, the Great Mystery, what most of us call God, what Buddhists call Bodhi Mind, what Native Americans call Great Spirit. All the same, all One. We go off alone and submit ourselves, present ourselves, to its presence. Not loud and proud. Not as scholars or “members.” But as children before the Lord, not knowing anything except that God is Good. You’ve heard the expression “Waiting on the Lord.” That’s what we do in the closet for those few minutes every day. That’s what we do for longer periods of time in occasional retreats. We learn to sit down, shut up, offer ourselves to that Larger Reality, and humbly wait.
No Cathedral can guarantee us the direct experience of the Holy One, and no prison cell can keep us from it. Jesus told His apostles, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.” Just sweet words? Just a metaphor? Or are you willing to consider that in some incomprehensible way, the entire infinite, unbounded Kingdom of Heaven is actually, literally within you and me?!! Go pray in the closet. Such simple words, such simple instruction. Go pray in the closet. He’s handing us the keys to the Kingdom and we keep building more huge churches and holding what could only be called ceaseless membership rallies under the name of Christianity. It’s become just about membership, hasn’t it? “I’m saved; are you saved?” How about the actual teachings of the religion, of the Savior Himself? You know, putting others first, turning the other cheek, giving away our wealth, trusting that God will feed and clothe us, rejoicing over the reformed criminal, accepting everyone at our Father’s table - you know, all that stuff Jesus actually instructed us to do? How has the popular religion in His name become merely a loud, proud, elitist membership fraternity? That’s a real head-scratcher!
But you and I do not need to figure out how tens of millions of people have unintentionally fallen into a mockery of Christianity or any other faith. You and I simply need to make our own decision about where we will stand. Jesus told Pontius Pilate, “You have no power over me.” Since Pontius Pilate then ordered Him to be executed and He was indeed killed, we need to reflect on what Jesus meant. In this world of people and events, Pontius Pilate certainly did have power over Jesus. He had Him crucified. Yet three days later, Jesus came back to show us that even imprisonment, torture and execution are trivial next to the Love He represents. He came to show us there is this world that we are in, where the Pontius Pilates will always seem to have power over us, but then there is this world we are of, which is a Force that makes death itself trivial and reversible.
Be in this world but not of it. Hmmm. Be in prison but not of it. Be in parenthood but not of it. Be in your job, your marriage, your hopes and dreams, your achievements, your plans, your recovery, but not of it. As they say in the South, you and I are “not from around here…” Being both in and of this world we see around us would be really depressing and make us feel quite disempowered. That world is headed toward a train wreck politically, socially, ecologically, in just about every way. Countless millions of people go through the day not believing in anything truly beautiful, noble, or holy. How unbelievably sad. Because this very same world is astonishingly beautiful, noble and holy when we view it from the spiritual realm that we are of.
My dear elder, an Anglican monk named Father Murray Rogers, says “Bo, faith is not the most important thing; it’s the only thing!” Father Murray also said “Every crisis is a crisis of Faith, no matter what else it appears to be.” Father Murray once defined Faith as “Believing in an Ultimate Goodness behind everything, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.”
You and I can directly touch that Ultimate Goodness in the closet. I have many times. The Supreme Force is not neutral, it is Good. It is beyond our understanding, for sure, but not beyond our ability to experience it, or put more accurately, to merge into It when our separateness falls away. Don’t settle for too little. Many of the “New Thought” or “New Age” churches seem to be trying to make this worldly level of reality the perfect one. They have all the right words about everything being God and so forth, but they’re trying to make personal, small, egoic happiness the Big Joy. That will never happen. This world we are in is tiny and limited and extremely conditional. The world we are of is a unified consciousness that doesn’t need protection from trivialities like poverty, illness, or adversity. By knowing where we are OF, we can have less fear and more power to help in the world we are IN.
This is a time when it would be helpful for us to simplify our spiritual perspectives. “May I be less selfish today than yesterday. May I be less vain today than yesterday. I dedicate myself today to live for others.” All the practices and paths are merely to serve these simple ends. Like one of the great Tibetan teachers told his student, “What is needed now is not more teachings, but more practice, my son!” Let’s really do this TODAY. Commit yourself to living for others right now. You know it’s the right thing to do, so don’t wait any longer. Believe me, your life will be a fascinating adventure just figuring out what it really means to put others first. And Life truly will bring you all you need if you really make this commitment
With Love,
Bo
___________________________________________________________________________
hugs, Tawny
tawnyford@webtv.net
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Like I was telling you yesterday, Proof, a famous rapper and native Detroiter, was shot to death early yesterday morning. He was at a blind pig (after hours joint), the Triple C (CCC), on 8 Mile Road near Gratiot in Detroit.
Yes, that's the same 8 Mile Road as rapper Eminem's movie, 8 Mile.
8 Mile Road is a dividing line between the northern border of Detroit and the suburbs.
Proof, Eminem's best friend, was also the best man at his wedding this past January. He was Eminem's front man/hype man at his concerts. And he was a founding member of the rap group D-12 (www.d12world.com).
Proof, noted as one of the best freestyle rappers around, was also working on a solo rap career. He had recently released his first solo album, Looking For Jerry Garcia. (www.bigproof.com)
Proof had just gotten back in town on Sunday from being on tour. Australia, I believe is where he was.
While I never met Proof, I know a lot about him because my Uncle David and he were friends.
I never spoke about Proof, either in my blog or on the telephone, prior to his death because I don't know who all reads this and it just didn't seem right to me to violate his privacy.
My Uncle David and his wife hold a weekly religous study class at their house. It has been my uncle's fervent desire to one day have a building where they could hold religous services and classes, do commuity outreach, etc. Proof was planning to give my uncle the money to purchase just such a building. In fact, truth be told, Proof and my uncle were supposd to meet yesterday afternoon for that purpose. Proof's death negates all of those plans.
My uncle says that Proof was a very nice man with a helluva career ahead of him.
We're praying for his family, his friends and loved ones, his children.
Tawny
tawnyford@webtv.net
Yes, that's the same 8 Mile Road as rapper Eminem's movie, 8 Mile.
8 Mile Road is a dividing line between the northern border of Detroit and the suburbs.
Proof, Eminem's best friend, was also the best man at his wedding this past January. He was Eminem's front man/hype man at his concerts. And he was a founding member of the rap group D-12 (www.d12world.com).
Proof, noted as one of the best freestyle rappers around, was also working on a solo rap career. He had recently released his first solo album, Looking For Jerry Garcia. (www.bigproof.com)
Proof had just gotten back in town on Sunday from being on tour. Australia, I believe is where he was.
While I never met Proof, I know a lot about him because my Uncle David and he were friends.
I never spoke about Proof, either in my blog or on the telephone, prior to his death because I don't know who all reads this and it just didn't seem right to me to violate his privacy.
My Uncle David and his wife hold a weekly religous study class at their house. It has been my uncle's fervent desire to one day have a building where they could hold religous services and classes, do commuity outreach, etc. Proof was planning to give my uncle the money to purchase just such a building. In fact, truth be told, Proof and my uncle were supposd to meet yesterday afternoon for that purpose. Proof's death negates all of those plans.
My uncle says that Proof was a very nice man with a helluva career ahead of him.
We're praying for his family, his friends and loved ones, his children.
Tawny
tawnyford@webtv.net
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
I don't know if this has made the national news or not, but it's all anyone has been talking about on the news in Detroit.
Rapper Proof (DeShaun Holton), best friend of rapper Eminem, was shot to death in a blind pig on Eight Mile Road in Detroit during the wee hours of this morning.
According to the newscasts, Proof was shot several times in the head. Another man, whose name hasn't yet been released to the media, was also shot, and is in critical condition.
Tawny
Rapper Proof (DeShaun Holton), best friend of rapper Eminem, was shot to death in a blind pig on Eight Mile Road in Detroit during the wee hours of this morning.
According to the newscasts, Proof was shot several times in the head. Another man, whose name hasn't yet been released to the media, was also shot, and is in critical condition.
Tawny
Monday, April 10, 2006
Just when I think there's nothing else my cousins can do that will make me think they're one brick shy of a full load, or........
So my cousin's exwoman, Nikki, mother of two of his children, calls the family up and invites us all to come see her 3-year old daughter model in a spring fashion show. Sounds good, it'll be fun to see that sweet baby strut her little self down the catwalk!
Nikki never mentions anything about a charge to get in. Folks get over to the place and it's a $25 per person cover charge to see the fashion show! $25!!! A whole lot of people got right back in their cars, turned around and went home.
The moral to the story is: Tell people up front what things cost. Monetary surprises are not a good thing, unless it's winning the lottery (smile).
Tawny
So my cousin's exwoman, Nikki, mother of two of his children, calls the family up and invites us all to come see her 3-year old daughter model in a spring fashion show. Sounds good, it'll be fun to see that sweet baby strut her little self down the catwalk!
Nikki never mentions anything about a charge to get in. Folks get over to the place and it's a $25 per person cover charge to see the fashion show! $25!!! A whole lot of people got right back in their cars, turned around and went home.
The moral to the story is: Tell people up front what things cost. Monetary surprises are not a good thing, unless it's winning the lottery (smile).
Tawny
Friday, April 07, 2006
Thursday, April 06, 2006
My main ride is a Ford F150 pick-up truck. I love that darn truck! I always wanted a truck of my own and in 2000 I bought the F150. I've had a really good time driving it.
Among other vehicles, I also have a '92 Chevy Blazer 4x4. It's been sitting in my driveway for awhile and I can't tell you the last time I drove it. It just pretty much sits there taking up space.
I have a cousin, I'll call her Dee (not her real name), who'll be 25 on her birthday next month. She's unmarried with a 4 year old child. Dee is something else. She collects assistance (welfare) and child support (when the baby's daddy gives it to her).
Dee doesn't work. In her whole life she's had two jobs. Her first was cleaning houses. That was about 5 years ago (when she was 20) and she quit after a month. The second was four years ago, right before she had her baby, at a KFC, and she lasted maybe six monthes. Dee has a really pissy and beligerent attitude. She's very hard to like. Truth is a foreign language to her.
She's been homeless since she was 18. She's had places to live, but none of them were her own. Someone's back bedroom, the couch in someone's living room, etc. While living with this one or that one, she never chipped in financially. Remember, she doesn't work. She didn't help around people's house(s). She just mooched. Dee believes that everyone owes her something.
Three years ago she spent about 8 monthes at a shelter up in Pontiac, MI. It's not like anyone wants to call a shelter home, but sometimes they can be a life raft. This shelter was a good one, clean and safe, many programs, etc. Instead of using the time at the shelter to her advantage and finishing their 1 year program--and having them set her up in a house of her own with a job--she left after 8 monthes.
As of late, she's been living in one of the projects in Detroit, not legally (it wasn't her unit), but in a unit belonging to someone else. Eventually the powers-that-be discoverred her there and put her and her child out.
Then Dee and her child moved to a welfare hotel in Detroit.
Aside from being allergic to holding a job, Dee is a chronic liar. She lies about everything. Always.
When I spoke with her a few monthes ago she told me she wanted to get her life on track. Wanted to get an apartment, a job. She said if she only had a car she could do all of these things.
So I offered her my 92 Chevy Blazer 4x4. Told her I'd give it to her for free. Told her I'd leave it in my name with my insurance on it long enough for her to get a job, earn some money, get an apartment, etc., then put it in her name and she could put her insurance and plates on it.
One thing, I told her I needed to see the car seat for her child and then the Blazer was hers. She said she didn't have a seat (?), but she'd get one. Okay. This went on for a couple of weeks, her not getting a car seat, so I told her I'd buy her a car seat. Anything to get her moving in the right direction.
I asked to see her drivers liscense. Oh, she said, she lost it (?), but she'd have a replacement by the end of the week. A couple of weeks later, still no liscense (?).
Finally, after I backed her into a verbal corner, she tells me doesn't have a drivers liscense. She figured I wasn't really going to give her the Blazer so WTF, she'd lie.
Then, in just about the same breath, she tells me she found an apartment and needs $700 to move in. If I was going to give her a car, maybe I could give her $700 in cash instead?
Yesterday morning I took the Blazer to Charity Motors in Detroit. I donated it to them. When they sell it, they'll sell it at a low price to someone who needs a bump to get on their feet. They gave me a donation statement for my 2006 taxes, Blue Book on the Blazer, $2,800.
This is just me, but if someone offered me a vehicle and I didn't have a liscense, I'd tell them I didn't have one but I'd get one, give me a couple of weeks, please. Had Dee done that, I'd have held on to the Blazer for her. Instead she played a game and lost. And no, I'm not giving her $700 for an apartment.
Long story short, I guess what I'm trying to say here is nobody likes a liar. If you're a liar, stop now. Your life will be much better.
hugs, Tawny
Among other vehicles, I also have a '92 Chevy Blazer 4x4. It's been sitting in my driveway for awhile and I can't tell you the last time I drove it. It just pretty much sits there taking up space.
I have a cousin, I'll call her Dee (not her real name), who'll be 25 on her birthday next month. She's unmarried with a 4 year old child. Dee is something else. She collects assistance (welfare) and child support (when the baby's daddy gives it to her).
Dee doesn't work. In her whole life she's had two jobs. Her first was cleaning houses. That was about 5 years ago (when she was 20) and she quit after a month. The second was four years ago, right before she had her baby, at a KFC, and she lasted maybe six monthes. Dee has a really pissy and beligerent attitude. She's very hard to like. Truth is a foreign language to her.
She's been homeless since she was 18. She's had places to live, but none of them were her own. Someone's back bedroom, the couch in someone's living room, etc. While living with this one or that one, she never chipped in financially. Remember, she doesn't work. She didn't help around people's house(s). She just mooched. Dee believes that everyone owes her something.
Three years ago she spent about 8 monthes at a shelter up in Pontiac, MI. It's not like anyone wants to call a shelter home, but sometimes they can be a life raft. This shelter was a good one, clean and safe, many programs, etc. Instead of using the time at the shelter to her advantage and finishing their 1 year program--and having them set her up in a house of her own with a job--she left after 8 monthes.
As of late, she's been living in one of the projects in Detroit, not legally (it wasn't her unit), but in a unit belonging to someone else. Eventually the powers-that-be discoverred her there and put her and her child out.
Then Dee and her child moved to a welfare hotel in Detroit.
Aside from being allergic to holding a job, Dee is a chronic liar. She lies about everything. Always.
When I spoke with her a few monthes ago she told me she wanted to get her life on track. Wanted to get an apartment, a job. She said if she only had a car she could do all of these things.
So I offered her my 92 Chevy Blazer 4x4. Told her I'd give it to her for free. Told her I'd leave it in my name with my insurance on it long enough for her to get a job, earn some money, get an apartment, etc., then put it in her name and she could put her insurance and plates on it.
One thing, I told her I needed to see the car seat for her child and then the Blazer was hers. She said she didn't have a seat (?), but she'd get one. Okay. This went on for a couple of weeks, her not getting a car seat, so I told her I'd buy her a car seat. Anything to get her moving in the right direction.
I asked to see her drivers liscense. Oh, she said, she lost it (?), but she'd have a replacement by the end of the week. A couple of weeks later, still no liscense (?).
Finally, after I backed her into a verbal corner, she tells me doesn't have a drivers liscense. She figured I wasn't really going to give her the Blazer so WTF, she'd lie.
Then, in just about the same breath, she tells me she found an apartment and needs $700 to move in. If I was going to give her a car, maybe I could give her $700 in cash instead?
Yesterday morning I took the Blazer to Charity Motors in Detroit. I donated it to them. When they sell it, they'll sell it at a low price to someone who needs a bump to get on their feet. They gave me a donation statement for my 2006 taxes, Blue Book on the Blazer, $2,800.
This is just me, but if someone offered me a vehicle and I didn't have a liscense, I'd tell them I didn't have one but I'd get one, give me a couple of weeks, please. Had Dee done that, I'd have held on to the Blazer for her. Instead she played a game and lost. And no, I'm not giving her $700 for an apartment.
Long story short, I guess what I'm trying to say here is nobody likes a liar. If you're a liar, stop now. Your life will be much better.
hugs, Tawny
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Are you a country music fan? I am. This morning the mail lady deliverred my Amazon order and there, amongst other things in the package, was Wynonna Judd's new cd, "Her Story: Scenes From A Lifetime", a 2 cd set, recorded live. I'm listening to it as I write this and I'm really enjoying it. Wynonna has a powerful voice! (www.wynonna.com)
Have you heard the Brad Paisley/Dolly Parton duet, "When I Get Where I'm Going", yet? It's getting quite a bit of air play on the Detroit area country music FM station. I like it, too. A lot.
Say, did you happen to join the Arbor Foundation? Remember I mentioned it in one of the blog entries a month or two ago? I sure hope you joined. Why? Well, for a number of reasons, one being that they'll send you free 10 flowering trees just for joining. Such a deal. Mine showed up today. I'm going to plant them tomorrow, weather permitting. In a year or two they'll be pretty as all can be all along my back fence.
hugs, Tawny
Have you heard the Brad Paisley/Dolly Parton duet, "When I Get Where I'm Going", yet? It's getting quite a bit of air play on the Detroit area country music FM station. I like it, too. A lot.
Say, did you happen to join the Arbor Foundation? Remember I mentioned it in one of the blog entries a month or two ago? I sure hope you joined. Why? Well, for a number of reasons, one being that they'll send you free 10 flowering trees just for joining. Such a deal. Mine showed up today. I'm going to plant them tomorrow, weather permitting. In a year or two they'll be pretty as all can be all along my back fence.
hugs, Tawny
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I recently purchased a subscription to Sojourners Magazine (www.sojo.net) and received my first issue yesterday. I'm sharing this poem (page 19, April issue) because I think it's outstanding.
"Good Friday in Manhattan"
by Wanda Fries
The poor are with you always---
Curled against a retaining wall
in the privacy of his own vomit the prophet sleeps
breathes in and out the stench of broken flesh---
Across the street at a coffee shop
in a seat near the window
another sweats in a black wool coat---
blind behind black glasses, refusing alms
he asks if Sunday is Easter---
the wounds of his awful loneliness break
into red blossoms against the dark---
Near the rim of chaos where the towers stood
disguised as a street preacher, St. John the Divine
tenders his prophecy his flute song of mourning
surrenders Haldol to the hope of transfiguration
O amazing, crazy grace---
Like traveling pilgrims we pause at each station---
hope for enlightenment along a seamless way---
a Rasta drummer beats sacred time near the subway,
the golden Buddha gazes preoccupied
from the dashboard of a cab---
This Friday before the Resurrection
all over Manhattan we dodge prophets---
broken shoes stuffed with black garbage bags
ill-shod for the road to Damascus
they careen toward us
from blind corners and subway tunnels---
babbling prophecies in tongues
they bless us and curse us
For the day is surely coming,
says the Lord---
We look---
mouths open, O holy,
their prayers fly like white doves
from the prison house of longing---
We finger the bus map, the guidebook, the ticket
pray Allah, lala, Jesus, Giuliani,
consider the image of Elvis
at the Hard Rock Cafe---
We wait the light chages
don't walk to walk
Behind us---
in spite of our turning---
saints and madmen and angels
they swarm to the light
brushing the flames
with their sanctified wings---
-------------------------
Tawny
"Good Friday in Manhattan"
by Wanda Fries
The poor are with you always---
Curled against a retaining wall
in the privacy of his own vomit the prophet sleeps
breathes in and out the stench of broken flesh---
Across the street at a coffee shop
in a seat near the window
another sweats in a black wool coat---
blind behind black glasses, refusing alms
he asks if Sunday is Easter---
the wounds of his awful loneliness break
into red blossoms against the dark---
Near the rim of chaos where the towers stood
disguised as a street preacher, St. John the Divine
tenders his prophecy his flute song of mourning
surrenders Haldol to the hope of transfiguration
O amazing, crazy grace---
Like traveling pilgrims we pause at each station---
hope for enlightenment along a seamless way---
a Rasta drummer beats sacred time near the subway,
the golden Buddha gazes preoccupied
from the dashboard of a cab---
This Friday before the Resurrection
all over Manhattan we dodge prophets---
broken shoes stuffed with black garbage bags
ill-shod for the road to Damascus
they careen toward us
from blind corners and subway tunnels---
babbling prophecies in tongues
they bless us and curse us
For the day is surely coming,
says the Lord---
We look---
mouths open, O holy,
their prayers fly like white doves
from the prison house of longing---
We finger the bus map, the guidebook, the ticket
pray Allah, lala, Jesus, Giuliani,
consider the image of Elvis
at the Hard Rock Cafe---
We wait the light chages
don't walk to walk
Behind us---
in spite of our turning---
saints and madmen and angels
they swarm to the light
brushing the flames
with their sanctified wings---
-------------------------
Tawny
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Saw these web addresses in today's newspaper and thought you might find them interesting.
www.newspaperarchive.com
It has a searchable database of 29 million pages of microfiched
newpapers, from hundreds of US (and a few foreign) publications,
stretching--in some cases--back to antebellum times.
www.freemaninstitute.com/funnyindex.htm
www.gawker.com/stalker
A list of celebrity sightings with Google maps to point out where they were seen.
www.annualcreditreport.com
And, of course, the place to get your free-by-law annual credit report.
hugs, Tawny
www.newspaperarchive.com
It has a searchable database of 29 million pages of microfiched
newpapers, from hundreds of US (and a few foreign) publications,
stretching--in some cases--back to antebellum times.
www.freemaninstitute.com/funnyindex.htm
www.gawker.com/stalker
A list of celebrity sightings with Google maps to point out where they were seen.
www.annualcreditreport.com
And, of course, the place to get your free-by-law annual credit report.
hugs, Tawny
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